This life

This life's trying to kill me, Grind me down, Beating me slowly. Looking at pictures of the old me, I see my face but I don't really know me. Who is this person I've become? At what point did it go so wrong? Did I make it in time, or did I leave it too long? Trying to hold on, trying to be strong. I need sunshine to escape these winter blues, Searching deep inside looking for some clues. If I could pick my own path, which one would I choose? If it made you feel good, how long until you started to abuse? That wonderful feeling that takes the pain away, But it's only temporary; that pain's here to stay. Trying different coping mechanisms, But still, my mind keeps me awake at the end of the day. Looking at blue skies, but all I see is grey. I don't know if I can take much more, Will I smile when I get to death's door? Is this my last ride, Or will I be reincarnated like before? The cracks showing come straight from the core."