This Is My Therapy Dead Friendship 10 of 11
Some go to a shrink or psychiatrist and jabber,
I do this anywhere anytime,
I express, pen press and feel bliss for free,
open cus opinions mean nothing to me,
I guess people don't matter cus people flatten they don't flatter
when I was in the gutter
with gut dread rather
than believe and help relieve pain
they brand lies in my name
then complain everyone complains of false troubles the same,
so dismissive so disrespectful actually self centred and selfish
as two minutes later they feel
the need to talk of their exes exit months ago
you've already tried to help them through still here they go
though it's too much effort to listen to you,
they are like all eyes on me and nothing to give
so you refuse to talk as they did
and they get upset, can't believe it,
so you explain why would I talk about you
after you told me my problem's not true.
All this is a sideshow to my real problems
so I let it go and leave it, forgotten,
but they're aggrieved, think I'm unkind
and start telling everyone I lie
make up stories and this spreads like wildfire
from deadhead to deadhead
now I'm seen as a blagger
that will sit and blabber
and rather than decide in their own heads
for themselves they side like a shelve
while my situation is killing me inside
but if it's spoke of it's pre-believed as a lie
though they've no clue, losing my mind,
enjoying the bonding as a group ignorant to truth
what a hoof to the tooth, so I'm aloof
while they get used to this,
I'm unaware cus I've got a real fight with strife
that requires a focused mind and this is my downtime,
get stoned blank mind.
Real problems distract and impact me,
who can I turn too with no one true,
slowly I leave my friends life,
I go free
and after their laughter there's realisation
they can't figure out why, I'm just a changed one,
while I've so much on my mind
I forget the reason,
I forget their treason,
still my subconscious propelled me away
and only when my mind unravels years later
I realise why I didn't stay.
A lifetime of friendship was instantly corrupt,
rather than help me you said I make stuff up!!!
Copyright © Nick Trim | Year Posted 2019
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