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Some go to a shrink or psychiatrist and jabber, 
I do this anywhere anytime,
I express, pen press and feel bliss for free,
open cus opinions mean nothing to me,
I guess people don't matter cus people flatten they don't flatter
when I was in the gutter 
with gut dread rather 
than believe and help relieve pain 
they brand lies in my name 
then complain everyone complains of false troubles the same, 
so dismissive so disrespectful actually self centred and selfish 
as two minutes later they feel 
the need to talk of their exes exit months ago 
you've already tried to help them through still here they go
though it's too much effort to listen to you, 
they are like all eyes on me and nothing to give 
so you refuse to talk as they did 
and they get upset, can't believe it, 
so you explain why would I talk about you 
after you told me my problem's not true.
 
All this is a sideshow to my real problems 
so I let it go and leave it, forgotten, 
but they're aggrieved, think I'm unkind
and start telling everyone I lie 
make up stories and this spreads like wildfire 
from deadhead to deadhead 
now I'm seen as a blagger 
that will sit and blabber 
and rather than decide in their own heads 
for themselves they side like a shelve 
while my situation is killing me inside 
but if it's spoke of it's pre-believed as a lie 
though they've no clue, losing my mind,
enjoying the bonding as a group ignorant to truth
what a hoof to the tooth, so I'm aloof
while they get used to this, 
I'm unaware cus I've got a real fight with strife 
that requires a focused mind and this is my downtime,
get stoned blank mind.

Real problems distract and impact me, 
who can I turn too with no one true,
slowly I leave my friends life,
I go free
and after their laughter there's realisation
they can't figure out why, I'm just a changed one, 
while I've so much on my mind 
I forget the reason, 
I forget their treason, 
still my subconscious propelled me away 
and only when my mind unravels years later 
I realise why I didn't stay. 

A lifetime of friendship was instantly corrupt, 
rather than help me you said I make stuff up!!!
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