This Is All I Do

This is all I do in one damn lonesome room with no telephone one open window and I look down at my best friend's sister and I want her next to me and I wonder if she looks up at me and thinks about me and if she wants to be with me too. I wonder these things streaming through my brain like psychedelic drugs and she says she don't like me not like that I wonder like what and it goes on and on walking down sidewalks and lonesome alleys in cities upon cities of lonely hearts and clumsy brains that think too much and mouths that say too much or say too little, or mouths that don't even utter a single sound. I wonder how life is if it went like this and if it didn't go like that if life had no mistakes and no punctuation if that girl went with me and fell head over heels for me like I did for her, I wonder how I would have turned out, Now it's dark and I am wide awake but sleepy and my brother plays his damn video games too loud, pipe down hold it, my mother came home from work Daddy on the couch dreaming away Mom hates when he does that she always yells Imagine if he was an abusive drunk. I run around even when I stand perfectly still thinking and thinking thoughts I am always thing about all the time-thinking I am a lost cause losing a battle I didn't even want to be involved in but the heart fights it's own words and our bodies suffer.