Email Poem

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Poem

This is all I do
in one damn lonesome room
with no telephone
one open window
and I look down
at my best friend's sister
and I want her next to me
and I wonder if she looks up at me
and thinks about me
and if she wants to be with me too.

I wonder these things
streaming through my brain
like psychedelic drugs
and she says she don't like me
not like that
I wonder like what
and it goes on and on
walking down sidewalks
and lonesome alleys in cities upon cities
of lonely hearts
and clumsy brains that think too much
and mouths that say too much or say too little,
or mouths that don't even utter a single sound.

I wonder how life is if it went like this
and if it didn't go like that
if life had no mistakes
and no punctuation
if that girl went with me
and fell head over heels for me
like I did for her,
I wonder how I would have turned out,
Now it's dark
and I am wide awake but sleepy
and my brother plays his damn video games
too loud, pipe down
hold it,
my mother came home from work
Daddy on the couch dreaming away
Mom hates when he does that
she always yells
Imagine if he was an abusive drunk.

I run around
even when I stand perfectly still
thinking and thinking thoughts
I am always thing about all the time-thinking
I am a lost cause losing a battle I didn't even
want to be involved in but the heart
fights it's own words and our bodies suffer.

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