This Body

This body This body is a lie Taught that this body Is only pretty Because it is honey Because I didn't stay in The sun too long Because I reflect my father And my grandfather Who was a reflection Of light This body This body I do not fit Because it always looks happy It forces a smile on me that I don't want to show I am not happy This body Makes me laugh Like everything is funny But nothing is funny Because I am serious This body I want to hide Because men look at it And drool over it Like it is a piece of steak Like I am not human Like I don't deserve The choice to say no Because his body Gets what it wants But my body Gets stolen from me Every time he says he wants me But I won't let that happen Because if he try to bust in me I will bust back And I won't let him take From me The only thing that was given To me Because I never had anything But this body this body Was made wrong Not that I wish I was male But because I was taught To never love a another female And I feel weird because I love Both But I hate the terms they call This body Because my mother named me Ceeairra Not straight Not Gay Not bi I am Ceeairra In this body This body Is fake Because I mark it up With makeup To hide everything I hold Inside I am tired I am exhausted My concealer doesn't Only hide the bags underneath My eye But hides the war that's going On inside my mind my eyeliner holds The tears that I fight With every night Because if they came out It would only make this body Look weak Like this body Ain't got enough Things to prove I'm sick of this body Tired of this body telling Me what to do Tired of people judging Me because of This body I am not just This body I am more than this body So please stop just looking At This body