They Told Me Not To Cry When You Were Gone

They told me not to cry when you were gone but the feeling is overwhelming its much too strong.Losing a mother is a pain that can not be described in words. its impossible to move on from the memory of losing the woman who sacrificed happiness in her own life so that I can have a better one I miss you very much on this day not just today but every minute since you went away. You were the center of my life before your soul passed on. Today I celebrate the life you lived , our wonderful memories. Even though it has been 13 years I still miss you Please think of me as I think of you with a heart full of love. When you died I did not understand what death was I thought you were going to come back to us, I watched My brother cry and I was so annoyed because I knew that my mom was going to come back to us , I waited and waited and I'm 20 now still not back. I've lost so much since you died...here I am today crying my self to sleep, soaking my pillow with tears because of the choices I've made. If only the were stairways to heaven I would come and take you back mama just for few minutes to tell You I love you, I appreciate everything you've done for me , to hug you ..Mom, your death has caged me in pain, agony and misery. But I don’t mind suffering at least it has set you free The skies look beautiful every day because Heaven cannot contain the beauty that you radiate. mom your memories are my life’s only solace. Death thought it can take you away from me. But it didn't know you will always live in my memory. Wish I could be a child again hug you mom you didn't see me getting my first “grown up” job,you wont see me graduating. you won’t be around to help me pick out my wedding dress. you won’t hold my child. your death made me to realize How strong I am. I can not only deal with whatever life throws at me but I can overcome it and come out stronger in the end. I'm glad that you no longer in pain I just wish I had more time with you. mourning was just a word in the dictionary but after your death it has become a way of life for me. everything that you gave me i will always keep it inside. Rest in Peace Nolundi Toti Mqotyana I will always love you.