The Woman I Love But Cannot See

When I look down at this pen in my hand, I ask myself how much power does this pen have? Well it only has as much power as my heart allows . So my heart is guiding my pen. So here I go. When you left a piece of my heart left also. It seemed like my words wouldn't come fast enough. I was screaming "PLEASE DON'T GO. I NEED YOU !!!!!! with my voice cracking and tears falling. I know your heart was screaming "PLEASE LISTEN IM BROKEN." But I didn't hear. So the only thing that I'm left with, are the tiny pieces of your heart, that are now blended with the sands on the beach. But only God can help me gather the pieces of your heart and put it back together, because He created you with such precision . I now look around; things are dark, cold and no love. I miss your presence and still feel and smell your breeze. I can still feel your touch , but for now,you only live in my mind. The pictures of you are blurry and so your smile brightens the picture . What I wouldn't do , to see you with my own eyes and not the eyes in my mind. When I wake up you are not there, I scream inside, but sometimes I yell silently . So then I ask myself" Is this a dream"? If it is, let me go back to sleep so I can see her again. Your cries of pain started out like the lightest drizzle of rain to a loud rolling thunder in the sky. By the time I heard the thunder, it was too late. The lightning had already struck and you were gone . Now all that is left are your pictures in my mind. Over the years my negative faces and words were very hurtful . It's like my words cut your heart with tiny paper cuts, and as time went by the cuts got deeper. Now with every positive word I speak from this day forward, will fill the holes of your broken heart. But by not giving you a voice is like me taking air from your lungs . Your voice is like air you needed it to survive. I now realize that by giving you a voice, it's like a hot air ballon , it needs air to go higher and higher. I miss your voice, the softness of it and the sweetness of it. I would love to hear your smile again. So I can hear the words in your eyes. WOW ! You really know how to speak with your eyes.