The Wet Patch - Collaboration Between Seren Roberts and Mandy Tams

Collaboration between Seren Roberts and Mandy Tams:   The Wet Patch   Why sit with a frown is there a need? Yes she whispered in my ear, I think I peed.   My knickers are wet, I dare not move at all If I stand up, down they will surely fall   Your knickers are wet, ha I did scoff But I made sure I did, no laugh or a cough   For under my seat I would then have to peer As there may be a puddle just under here   Went shopping before we met for lunch Hoped lollies would stay frozen, so I could crunch   Put it in my handbag, sat upon my lap Decided to eat quickly, so no mishap.   But lunch took quite a while   We had a laugh and a smile.   The lollies got hot, and then they did melt I felt a cold patch sneak under my belt.   I swept off the table cloth wrapped it round like a toga To everyone watching I said ‘it’s a new move in yoga' To the bathroom I ran and locked the door I dropped my wet undergarments, onto the floor   Knickers now down, I could see the stain Was orange not pee and that I still maintain   I sniffed at my undies and then I did think They smell of oranges, as I rinsed in the sink  I hadn’t peed at all, twas not a mishap My ice lollies had melted, wetting my lap   Next time you see an old dear with a wet patch on her frock Remember it might be a lolly, so you better not mock   One day you know that old dear will be you So to yourself and to others you must always be true   A wet patch you may see, but no lollies are there So offer her some wipes, but don’t sit on her chair © 2013