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The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020

Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2020

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John Watt Date: 11/13/2020 5:32:00 PM Tom, you crack me up with your COVID tale, and your funny rhymes for Kansas. The media made a big story out of a little story and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. At least the hand sanitizer and TP are back on the shelves but the pandemic isn't going away anytime soon. ~ John Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 11/14/2020 3:46:00 AM Thank you very much John, these vaccines are not a magic bullet by any means but the press make out its a game changer, there is no cast iron guarantee they will work either. Hopefully I'm wrong but we just have to take care and stay safe. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane Date: 4/7/2020 8:20:00 PM Hahaha, love this funny limerick Tom. Laughter is the best medicine. Hugs Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 4/8/2020 4:08:00 AM Thank you Cecilia, you're right, humour will help us through these dark days. Stay safe Tom

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 3/26/2020 1:24:00 PM Hi Tom, I had to laugh at this limerick - good for you for giving us all what we need - escape! Blessings, Jennifer - be safe! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/26/2020 8:05:00 PM Thank you Jennifer, humour In these times doesn't go amiss, stay safe. Tom

Gershon Wolf Date: 3/19/2020 9:17:00 AM Hahahaha! Important to exit 'cleansed of all -- ahem -- of all -- ahem... Guess I just can't find the words to express this sentiment. Thoroughly enjoyed this one, Tom! Thank you! ~ Gershon Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/19/2020 10:46:00 AM Thanks Gershon, I'm glad you got a laugh put of it. Hope you're well. Stay safe. Tom

Sandra Adams Date: 3/17/2020 6:25:00 PM sad that people hoard things that other's need...many cannot find what they need .. good write Tom... always a joy to read your limericks... hugs Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/18/2020 2:14:00 AM Even though there's tons of everything, media puts on pics of empty shelves at supermarkets, it's a red rag to a bull. Hope alls well. Tom

Timothy Mcguire Date: 3/16/2020 10:35:00 PM Funny a Fav for me Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/17/2020 5:07:00 AM Thanks Timothy. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 3/16/2020 3:13:00 PM - His A.S.S. like a newborn baby ... when the cotton rollers are used up, he can use paper money :) - Excellent, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/16/2020 3:18:00 PM Thank you Anne, hope you're well. Tom

Kenneth Cheney Date: 3/16/2020 2:53:00 PM I'm chuckling Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/16/2020 3:08:00 PM Thanks Kenneth, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tom

Paul Callus Date: 3/16/2020 11:00:00 AM Making the most of a worrying situation, Tom! Keep your humour flowing. ~ Regards // paul Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/16/2020 11:11:00 AM Thanks Paul, it's all we can do. Stay safe. Tom

Ralph Sergi Date: 3/15/2020 6:55:00 PM Hi Tom: excellent play on words!! (ha ha) Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 7:15:00 PM Thanks Ralph. Tom

Andrea Dietrich Date: 3/15/2020 1:58:00 PM hahaha. Excellent one!! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 4:42:00 PM Thanks Andrea, I'm sure humour will get us through with whats coming, I'm hoping anyway. Stay safe Tom

Rercy Zola-Zaba Date: 3/15/2020 1:35:00 PM You Sir truly knows how to lighten the mood , the world needs more people like you Tom, Quite a humorous piece. Nicely done lol! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 4:41:00 PM Thanks Rercy, I think things will get worse before they get better. We can try and lift our spirits with a bit of humour. Hope you're well. Tom

Quoth Theraven Date: 3/15/2020 12:12:00 PM Tom, The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas, love that title. Could it be that we share in the riches as long as we sustain our humor? "The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion. -Franklin D. Roosevelt Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 4:39:00 PM Thanks Richard, love the quote, I'm hoping humour will see us through the dark days ahead. Hope you're well. Tom

Panagiota Romios Date: 3/15/2020 3:19:00 AM Wonderful,y creative Tom. In this day of TP addiction. So hilarious....a FAV, my friend. Panagiota Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 3:57:00 AM Thank you Panagiota, happy you enjoyed it. Hope you're feeling better. Tom

Jenish Somadas Date: 3/14/2020 11:59:00 PM lol.. Even the virus smiles.. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/15/2020 3:56:00 AM Haha, thanks Jenish, Tom

Ilene Bauer Date: 3/14/2020 2:55:00 PM ha! very funny, tom! glad the powers that be didn't bleep you out... Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/14/2020 2:57:00 PM Thanks Ilene, I was careful lol. Stay safe. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis Date: 3/14/2020 6:31:00 AM Hahahahahaha! You have surpassed yourself dear, Tom! We need humor, especially at this period! Thank you my friend for injecting optimism! God bless you! Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/14/2020 6:51:00 AM Thank you Demetrios, we can't change things but we can try and lift people's spirits with humour Stay safe . Tom

Harry Horsman Date: 3/14/2020 3:07:00 AM Wow, Hot topic Tom, and you nail it to perfection... Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/14/2020 4:13:00 AM Thanks Harry, toilet rolls more valuable than gold at the moment, Kleenex have won the lottery lol. Tom.

Lindsay Laurie Date: 3/13/2020 11:30:00 PM G'day Tom ... it appears some people must have a recipe for toilet paper. The panic! My gosh - thanks Tom - Lindsay Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/14/2020 4:10:00 AM Thanks Lindsay, never mind food and medicines lol. What did they use 200 years ago Tom

John Watt Date: 3/13/2020 7:21:00 PM Tom, like mentioned below, laughter is the best medicine. Good one. Hope you stay healthy ~ John Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/14/2020 4:06:00 AM Thanks John, I'm with you, laughter wil get us through this. Tom

Eve Roper Date: 3/13/2020 7:09:00 PM hahahaha, Tom, everyone is taking the lead of humor. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/13/2020 7:12:00 PM Thanks Eve, I think in these dark times humour is the best medicine. Stay safe. Tom

Robert L. Hinshaw Date: 3/13/2020 6:58:00 PM Ha! Tom you and I are thinking in the same vein re the toil tissue shortage. A great Lim! Glad you liked my lim re Charmin and Angel Soft. Hunker down and take care of yourself - Bob Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/13/2020 7:10:00 PM Thanks Bob, well as the saying goes, great minds think alike lol. Tom

Susan Ashley Date: 3/13/2020 6:30:00 PM Haha! Your wonderful wit never fails to delight me, Tom. Though these are worrisome times, having a good laugh is good medicine for what ails us. Thanks for a healthy dose of humor, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 3/13/2020 7:39:00 PM Yes, true. Stay safe, as well, my friend. Tom Cunningham Date: 3/13/2020 6:37:00 PM Thank you Susan, yes these are worrying times, quite a lot of events and gatherings cancelled in the UK. I still think the world should have acted sooner, we've had pandemics in the past, the Spanish flu killed over 50 million in 1918. Mankind never learns though. Stay safe. Tom

Jan Allison Date: 3/13/2020 6:19:00 PM ha ha ha a funny virus poem I like it tom!:-) hugs jan xx Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/13/2020 6:22:00 PM Thanks Jan, its our humour that will get us through these dark days. Tom

Vijay Pandit Date: 3/13/2020 5:42:00 PM This is hilarious--laugh out loud kind. Owning ten rolls of cottonelle is definitely wealthy these days. Loved your humor, Tom. Login to Reply Tom Cunningham Date: 3/13/2020 5:45:00 PM Thanks Vijay, I was trying to rise above the doom and gloom that's everywhere at the moment. Worrying times though. Tom