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The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas

'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas 
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus 
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".



Written 13th March 2020

Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2020

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November 13, 2020 at 5:32 PM

Tom, you crack me up with your COVID tale, and your funny rhymes for Kansas. The media made a big story out of a little story and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. At least the hand sanitizer and TP are back on the shelves but the pandemic isn't going away anytime soon. ~ John

November 14, 2020 at 3:46 AM

Thank you very much John, these vaccines are not a magic bullet by any means but the press make out its a game changer, there is no cast iron guarantee they will work either. Hopefully I'm wrong but we just have to take care and stay safe. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane

April 7, 2020 at 8:20 PM

Hahaha, love this funny limerick Tom. Laughter is the best medicine. Hugs

April 8, 2020 at 4:08 AM

Thank you Cecilia, you're right, humour will help us through these dark days. Stay safe Tom

Jennifer Proxenos

March 26, 2020 at 1:24 PM

Hi Tom, I had to laugh at this limerick - good for you for giving us all what we need - escape! Blessings, Jennifer - be safe!

March 26, 2020 at 8:05 PM

Thank you Jennifer, humour In these times doesn't go amiss, stay safe. Tom

March 19, 2020 at 9:17 AM

Hahahaha! Important to exit 'cleansed of all -- ahem -- of all -- ahem... Guess I just can't find the words to express this sentiment. Thoroughly enjoyed this one, Tom! Thank you! ~ Gershon

March 19, 2020 at 10:46 AM

Thanks Gershon, I'm glad you got a laugh put of it. Hope you're well. Stay safe. Tom

March 17, 2020 at 6:25 PM

sad that people hoard things that other's need...many cannot find what they need .. good write Tom... always a joy to read your limericks... hugs

March 18, 2020 at 2:14 AM

Even though there's tons of everything, media puts on pics of empty shelves at supermarkets, it's a red rag to a bull. Hope alls well. Tom

Timothy Mcguire

March 16, 2020 at 10:35 PM

Funny a Fav for me

March 17, 2020 at 5:07 AM

Thanks Timothy. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen

March 16, 2020 at 3:13 PM

- His A.S.S. like a newborn baby ... when the cotton rollers are used up, he can use paper money :) - Excellent, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

March 16, 2020 at 3:18 PM

Thank you Anne, hope you're well. Tom

March 16, 2020 at 2:53 PM

I'm chuckling

March 16, 2020 at 3:08 PM

Thanks Kenneth, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tom

March 16, 2020 at 11:00 AM

Making the most of a worrying situation, Tom! Keep your humour flowing. ~ Regards // paul

March 16, 2020 at 11:11 AM

Thanks Paul, it's all we can do. Stay safe. Tom

March 15, 2020 at 6:55 PM

Hi Tom: excellent play on words!! (ha ha)

March 15, 2020 at 7:15 PM

Thanks Ralph. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

March 15, 2020 at 1:58 PM

hahaha. Excellent one!!

March 15, 2020 at 4:42 PM

Thanks Andrea, I'm sure humour will get us through with whats coming, I'm hoping anyway. Stay safe Tom

Rercy Zola-Zaba

March 15, 2020 at 1:35 PM

You Sir truly knows how to lighten the mood , the world needs more people like you Tom, Quite a humorous piece. Nicely done lol!

March 15, 2020 at 4:41 PM

Thanks Rercy, I think things will get worse before they get better. We can try and lift our spirits with a bit of humour. Hope you're well. Tom

March 15, 2020 at 12:12 PM

Tom, The Wealthy Old Man From Kansas, love that title. Could it be that we share in the riches as long as we sustain our humor? "The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion. -Franklin D. Roosevelt

March 15, 2020 at 4:39 PM

Thanks Richard, love the quote, I'm hoping humour will see us through the dark days ahead. Hope you're well. Tom

Panagiota Romios

March 15, 2020 at 3:19 AM

Wonderful,y creative Tom. In this day of TP addiction. So hilarious....a FAV, my friend. Panagiota

March 15, 2020 at 3:57 AM

Thank you Panagiota, happy you enjoyed it. Hope you're feeling better. Tom

March 14, 2020 at 11:59 PM

lol.. Even the virus smiles..

March 15, 2020 at 3:56 AM

Haha, thanks Jenish, Tom

March 14, 2020 at 2:55 PM

ha! very funny, tom! glad the powers that be didn't bleep you out...

March 14, 2020 at 2:57 PM

Thanks Ilene, I was careful lol. Stay safe. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis

March 14, 2020 at 6:31 AM

Hahahahahaha! You have surpassed yourself dear, Tom! We need humor, especially at this period! Thank you my friend for injecting optimism! God bless you!

March 14, 2020 at 6:51 AM

Thank you Demetrios, we can't change things but we can try and lift people's spirits with humour Stay safe . Tom

March 14, 2020 at 3:07 AM

Wow, Hot topic Tom, and you nail it to perfection...

March 14, 2020 at 4:13 AM

Thanks Harry, toilet rolls more valuable than gold at the moment, Kleenex have won the lottery lol. Tom.

March 13, 2020 at 11:30 PM

G'day Tom ... it appears some people must have a recipe for toilet paper. The panic! My gosh - thanks Tom - Lindsay

March 14, 2020 at 4:10 AM

Thanks Lindsay, never mind food and medicines lol. What did they use 200 years ago Tom

March 13, 2020 at 7:21 PM

Tom, like mentioned below, laughter is the best medicine. Good one. Hope you stay healthy ~ John

March 14, 2020 at 4:06 AM

Thanks John, I'm with you, laughter wil get us through this. Tom

March 13, 2020 at 7:09 PM

hahahaha, Tom, everyone is taking the lead of humor.

March 13, 2020 at 7:12 PM

Thanks Eve, I think in these dark times humour is the best medicine. Stay safe. Tom

Robert L. Hinshaw

March 13, 2020 at 6:58 PM

Ha! Tom you and I are thinking in the same vein re the toil tissue shortage. A great Lim! Glad you liked my lim re Charmin and Angel Soft. Hunker down and take care of yourself - Bob

March 13, 2020 at 7:10 PM

Thanks Bob, well as the saying goes, great minds think alike lol. Tom

March 13, 2020 at 6:30 PM

Haha! Your wonderful wit never fails to delight me, Tom. Though these are worrisome times, having a good laugh is good medicine for what ails us. Thanks for a healthy dose of humor, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

March 13, 2020 at 7:39 PM

Yes, true. Stay safe, as well, my friend.

March 13, 2020 at 6:37 PM

Thank you Susan, yes these are worrying times, quite a lot of events and gatherings cancelled in the UK. I still think the world should have acted sooner, we've had pandemics in the past, the Spanish flu killed over 50 million in 1918. Mankind never learns though. Stay safe. Tom

March 13, 2020 at 6:19 PM

ha ha ha a funny virus poem I like it tom!:-) hugs jan xx

March 13, 2020 at 6:22 PM

Thanks Jan, its our humour that will get us through these dark days. Tom

March 13, 2020 at 5:42 PM

This is hilarious--laugh out loud kind. Owning ten rolls of cottonelle is definitely wealthy these days. Loved your humor, Tom.

March 13, 2020 at 5:45 PM

Thanks Vijay, I was trying to rise above the doom and gloom that's everywhere at the moment. Worrying times though. Tom

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