The Vicar Spied a Spider

I need to grab my bible but all I can do is stare For it’s stood up all by itself on that shelf over there And between me and it there is a spider on the roam Why on Earth do spiders like it so much in my home I have a pocket bible upstairs in my bedside drawer But I just love the weight and feel of this one so much more Wait, the spider’s moving on, perhaps he’s on his way No such luck, the spider is a bible bug today He’s now up on my bookshelf sitting in an empty space I swear I see a smug expression on the spider’s face If he goes left my bible he will find despite my need If he goes right then “Spiders Of The World” is there to read Well wouldn’t you just know it, now he’s crawling up the cover That critter chose my bible when he could have chose the other Well that’s me done, I’ll make do with my bible from upstairs And Spidey can have that one while I sit and say my prayers O here we go again, I’ll speak to God and have a grumble Another trucker going by is causing things to rumble But now I’m thanking God because although I nearly stumble The spiders not a problem since my bible took a tumble So bye bye creepy crawly thing beneath my bible flat Your reading choice has rendered you a nasty little splat But wait! My bible’s bobbing as it creeps all by itself Please God, send a lightning bolt and aim it at my shelf