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The Unsupervised Stop Sign First Attempt

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Wonky start (being counted in ala Wayne's World made me laugh) as had to do a one take wonder on the audio as guitarists are busy people - I'll do a retake if opportunity arises. Singing does settle into something that doesn't burn your ears after second line

Listen to poem:

Unsupervised stop sign telling me not to go On the other side I could join the devil's flow Gliding through the night all my darkness in tow But I'll wait here, because I know what I know Don't cross the line, don't cross the line Quit listening to the twisted logic of your mind Don't cross the line, don't cross the line Have faith, wait and you'll be fine I quiver and I shake Thinking about just what's at stake At the devil's crossroads, bad decisions I could make Don't cross the line, don't cross the line Quit listening to the twisted logic of your mind Don't cross the line, don't cross the line Have faith, wait and you'll be fine I don't need this time to think I'm really on the brink To trust in myself, is to trust in my instinct Please change, I'm terrified that I'll sink Unsupervised stop sign telling me not to go On the other side I could join the devil's flow Gliding through the night all my darkness in tow But I'll wait here, because I know what I know

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David Kavanagh

Date: 10/16/2023 1:25:00 PM

The vocals and acoustic guitar are really good Dilly, I’d love to hear/see a short bridge between stanzas, and make a full song of it, but regardless the poem has a doleful soul searching quality throughout, I’m going to Fave this one for leaving in the outtake, love it, cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/16/2023 1:31:00 PM

I've not really looked into the mechanics of song writing but it feels like it could have the bones of something can could pan out quite nice - despite a strange first line. Glad I didn't burn your ears before I found the time lol

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/16/2023 1:31:00 PM

Oh and thanks for the fav :)

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 10/15/2023 2:01:00 PM

a wonderful poem! It was so engaging and powerful with its message...follow your gut...don't overthink. I appreciated how you repeated, 'don't cross that line, don't cross that line.' Well done. Have a pleasant evening, Sara

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/15/2023 2:25:00 PM

Thanks Sara, it was a difficult prompt to get a feel for. Thanks for your comment x

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 10/15/2023 11:59:00 AM

Hello Dilly Dally, i would tryst my innervoice to tell me what to do. Enjoy your day my frirnd. /Darlene/

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 10/15/2023 12:39:00 PM

Hello Dilly Dally, well your struggle worked. This is a very well done poem. Good luck in the contest. /Darlene\

Di11y Da11y
Date: 10/15/2023 12:27:00 PM

Thanks Darlene - this is my third attempt at a entry for this contest. Struggled for ideas. Thanks for your comment x