The Things I Cant Say

My eyes are closed but I can still see Visions of lost dreams begin to fade away Leaving one image lingering behind shown only to me A hard shell with a soft heart Appearing to be unbreakable Yet it’s fragile and falling apart Trying to find the pieces that I need Unsure of what it is that I long for Uncertain if it will still hurt when I bleed A numbness spread inside me which I can not mend It lives with sorrow and loneliness My eyes are still closed as I simply pretend Pretend to not be affected and pretend not to care Pretend not to notice When I am being suffocated by my own air Unable to describe this feeling I now carry inside It is almost as if I feel nothing Because a part of me has died The strength which once carried me has now disappeared It slowly faded away And was replaced by loneliness and everything I feared Surrounded by people who haven’t the slightest clue That as I laugh I hold back tears And there is nothing they can do The tears are never noticed because I refuse to let them show I walk amongst you smiling But inside I’m a stranger that you’ll never know A stranger to myself with emotions that I can’t explain At times I feel foolish And other times I feel insane I do not understand these feelings that I live with everyday I turn to pen and paper And write all the things I can not say