The Television Evangelist

The Television Evangelist By Elton Camp Every Sunday, be sure to go To the old-time revival show Strives to keep your devotion By strong appeal to emotion Suggests you are a sinner dire Much in risk of hellish fire Will show you how today To escape, there is a way First you truly must believe Never allow Satan to deceive There is something else to say The reverend you must obey Favor of this man of God Will assure a heavenly nod He’s right here every week Authorized by God to speak Lets you know he has had a call To offer salvation to one and all But his ministry could be lost Due to all of his growing cost That’s where you come in So cough it up, my friend You can’t afford not to give So in heavens you can live Tithe is the least you owe So send along the dough If to pay proves too hard We will take Master Card If you give us a larger amount Untold blessings, you will count Generosity God will sure repay On that fearsome judgment day We will gladly hug your neck For your Social Security check Please mail it on to our address And in that way, love express To those who will give enough We mail back some holy stuff Lock of the good reverend’s hair To show how very much we care Cross looks like made of gold Since you did as you were told Or to drive away all your fears Small vial of the preacher’s tears Those who show the love they bear Will receive from us special prayer But know any who dare to give less Cannot expect us or God to bless