The Squabblesons
During their courting days into her limpid eyes he would gaze.
When in his arms his many charms set her very soul ablaze!
The sweet nothings once whispered when they would bill and coo,
Became table-thumping screaming matches once they said, "I Do!"
BEFORE: My dearest one, you take my very breath away!
AFTER: I feel like I am suffocating - now get out of my way!
BEFORE: You have a divine figure akin to that of a Grecian figurine!
AFTER: You there, with the beer belly! To call me obese is obscene!
BEFORE: I can hardly believe we were lucky enough to find each other!
AFTER: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you! Oh, brother!
BEFORE: Honey, I don't have much money but I promise to get you some!
AFTER: Take a look around this dump! Go and find a job you no good bum!
BEFORE: Tonight it's a show and then to the Ritz for oysters on the shell!
AFTER: Fish sticks with beer and wrestling on TV again tonight! Oh, hell!
BEFORE: Without you, my darling, it is as if time was standing still!
AFTER: This relationship isn't going anywhere except straight downhill!
BEFORE: Sweetheart, our marriage will always be one of equal partnership!
AFTER: You are nothing but a controlling, egomaniac you big drip!
BEFORE: On our fiftieth wedding anniversary you'll still be my bride!
AFTER: Well, we finally made it to our fiftieth but it's been a rocky ride!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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