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The Slow Learner

Pity me not because the moon is on wane Remember when was full lighting the night Pity me not for thinnning of dark blonde mane That has gone from beauty to cotton light Pity me not for energy deplete Now time to snuggle between warm soft sheets What's lacking in energy gain in sleep With love beside me snoring to same beat With love he continues to look on me Even though my moon is waning this eve Brown eyes adore me_ his love only sees Girl of seventeen with green eyes__ naive Pity me for my slow learning of life Where in places my gifts could have stopped strife

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Lynette Chachere

Date: 6/27/2010 12:03:00 AM

this is beautiful, Sara.i feel this way a lot. but you know what, its because of your very high and special beauty that is too perplexed to comprehend, and you know this well(: ~Always&Forever Lynette

Joseph Spence Sr

Date: 6/26/2010 9:34:00 AM

This is an excellent sonnet. It flow quite well and the rhyming pattern is right on point. It's a lovely reflection back to seventeen. The imagery certainly tells a fascinating story. Great job! Joseph

Daniel Cwiak

Date: 6/26/2010 9:01:00 AM

I love the images you have given us in this Sonnet. Move over Shakespeare! Dan C ps. Thanks for your comments on my work.

Gert W. Knop

Date: 6/26/2010 8:01:00 AM

So well written, Sara! A powerful Sonnet! "A slow learner will memorize more!!!"...Thank you for your kind comments and have a great Sunday...Gert

Daver Austin

Date: 6/26/2010 6:33:00 AM

Hey! "Silver threads among the gold." You got it all, kid. Love, daver

Farah Chamma

Date: 6/26/2010 5:58:00 AM

A great write Sara. The rhyme is beautiful. Diction is powerful.

Sekitto Herbert Grace

Date: 6/26/2010 4:44:00 AM

GOOD POEM SARA. WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT SLOW LEARNER, I REMEMBER IN MY EARLY YEARS IN MY PRIMARY LEVEL. I WAS AMONG THE SLOW LEARNERS

Sarah Hales

Date: 6/26/2010 2:21:00 AM

A lovelly piece of work sarah xxx really enjoyed x

John Freeman

Date: 6/25/2010 9:36:00 PM

Beautiful Sonnet, Sara. Yes pity me when I could have been the peacemaker and not. Thankis you for your graceful comment. I was an extremely hard contest. The poems were spiritual poems, every one. Four is as low as I would go on such beautifully spiritual poems. Agape, Moses

Doris Culverhouse

Date: 6/25/2010 9:26:00 PM

must be nice...lol hope you are feeling ok. Very nice sonnet, enjoyed reading tonight. I have the aches and can't sleep.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/25/2010 7:27:00 PM

Sara this reminds me of a Shakespeare sonnet wherein he speaks of his love's many faults, but in the end, its the faults that he loves in her. Can't remember the name of it. Probably its title was just a number! well, you are sure not a slow learner with sonnets. You are quite picking up on this marvelous form. LUv, Andrea

Kristen Wallen

Date: 6/25/2010 3:53:00 PM

This is beautiful. But, one suggestion, though? (And I could be wrong, but) My English teacher told me that in a Sonnet the second line isn't supposed to rhyme with the first line. In your second stanza, I noticed that "deplete" rhymed with "sheets". I don't know if you intended that, but just saying. Like I said, I could be wrong. And thanks for the review on my poem "Depression". I really appreciated it. (:

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 6/25/2010 2:50:00 PM

A beautifully written sonnet, Sara. I'm so glad he still sees you as a "girl of seventeen." You're lucky to have a man like this! Love, Carolyn

Michael J. Falotico

Date: 6/25/2010 2:29:00 PM

Nice write Sara... well said

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 6/25/2010 2:06:00 PM

a very bright idea about a slow learner,,..i truly enjoyed your poem Sara,..By the way how have you been. As for me not as much on the soup like before. But i'm getting around to comment all my favorite poets on the soup for the next 3 days.. LOL,,,That just means be ready for me to read more of your poems ,,,Hope my comments do not annoy you.. Hae a nice day,..p.d.

Susan Mills

Date: 6/25/2010 2:01:00 PM

We all have to learn at our own pace in life. Not repeating mistakes and defeat does save pain. Love, Susan