The Road

How many times will I make the same mistakes before I ever learn? How many times am I going to dance too close to the flames before I finally realize that eventually they will burn? I knew what would happen. The warnings kept ringing in my head. I pretended not to hear them; I just looked the other way instead. I ignored all the Red Flags, even though they were clear as day. I convinced myself that this time, everything would turn out OK. Now here I am, wondering how I could let this happen again. After all I’ve already been through, and where I’ve already been. Now, here I stand looking down the same road that I’ve been down so many times in the past. Every time I’ve been here, I swear that this time will be he last. I know this road too well. It is a long and lonely road, & the weight of the pain, is heavy, but I will have to carry it with me. There’s places where I will become lost, as the path is narrow, and it is often hard to see. If I try to turn and go back, I know that I’ll find there’s nothing left for me. I’ll cry out into the night, but nobody will be able to hear. Nobody will know my pain. Nobody is going to be there. Everything I thought was real is already gone, because it was never really there. When I complete this journey, I know I will be able to trust myself, believe in myself and love my self a little bit more. I will be a little stronger, a little tougher and a little wiser then I was before. Next time I will see what is before me, and know what to do. Next time I will think about what I've seen, what I know and I will remember what I have already realized and what I have already been through. Loreen Parke January, 2006