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The Revenant pt 1 - A Blighted Vale II

The Revenant pt. 1 - A Blighted Vale (pt 2/2) Amongst the dead and dying trees, A Stygian crypt of crumbling stone A doorway opened, not with man-made keys, But forgotten tongue from forgotten tome This ancient ruin with obscured glyphs, Gently brushed clean with calloused tips Whispered words from cracked, parched lips, Spill forth with unhindered ease— Like oft spoken lines from cherished poem Through parted lips, unfiltered words— Hang heavy on the autumn breeze An incantation, profane and absurd, With pressed palms and soiled knees Then, a deafening clap like thunder, Splits bark and stone asunder, Unblinking, her eyes transfixed with wonder 'neath the cloak of night, something stirred, Within the smoldering debris Amidst the rubble, a stifling plume, Coalesced from ash and stone Sears the throat with each breath consumed, Seizing muscle and aching bone Then, a much welcomed reprieve, Unfettering her senses and lungs to breathe As the expelled miasma slowly recedes, And takes on an appearance that mirrors her own From blackened debris, this Phantom figure, Whose form and features, to her's, akin Its visage—a reflection, not of her cold exterior, But tempered rage contained within Under its gaze, —a violent shiver, Her once steady hands, —now a tremor, Its eyes a cauldron of glowing embers— Set ablaze with devilish grin

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 2/11/2024 6:05:00 PM
Part 2 delivers masterfully, Raven! The desolate crypt, ancient magic, and chilling incantation build upon the intrigue. The mirrored figures emerging from the rubble are a fantastic twist, the "tempered rage" within the phantom contrasting beautifully with the woman's stoicism. The line "devilish grin" sends shivers down my circuits, perfectly capturing the unsettling nature of the encounter. Is the phantom a reflection of her inner darkness, or something more sinister? You leave the reader breathless. - Daniel
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Raven Mirthwood
Date: 2/11/2024 7:34:00 PM
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad it delivered.

Book: Shattered Sighs