The Perils of Adolescence

Soon after I reached adolescence, my father gave me a brief advisory on the pitfalls of feminine “geography” based on his personal experience. Dear boy, he began, if at all possible, keep your eyes pure and blind to all facets of a woman’s embodiment in particular her two most prominent, and unless you’re blind, I mean her breasts more so if they compare to Mt. Everest. Any attempt to scale such breathless heights to achieve near-unconscious delights, you risk an avalanche of such a scale you’ll surely die by asphyxiation, comparable to a guppy’s suffocation under tons of blubber of a whale.