The Optimistic Pessimists Resolutions
Get in shape, lose some weight.
Every year it’s always the same.
Read a book, stay home and cook,
And I only have myself to blame.
Till some land, lend a hand.
You’d think that I’d be smart enough,
Cards to send to a sick friend,
To ignore this self-improvement stuff.
Get more sleep, don’t sell cheap.
But it is an annual institution,
Take a class, use less gas.
To make a New Year’s resolution.
Eat less meat, be more discrete,
Why must they always be so hard?
Be more caring, try more sharing,
This time of year puts me on my guard.
Be more polite, sleep at night,
I wish for an easy way I will confess.
Work hard all day, don’t over stay,
To keep the resolutions that I express.
Only say what you mean today,
What if I only made an easy pick?
Do your best to skew the test,
Then my word would surely stick.
Eat more snacks, take more naps,
I’ll confuse my karma and trick it.
Watch TV, look out for me,
This might be just the ticket.
Stay up late while cheating fate,
This is a New Year’s revolution,
I’ll make my list then I’ll insist,
That I keep this year’s resolution.
And when it’s time to stay in line,
But my promises I fail to keep.
I’ll not hide as I backslide,
As the benefits I will reap.
I’ll be complete whenever I cheat,
And by default I’ll do what I should.
It won’t make me sad when I do bad,
Because my failing will only do me good.
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