The Night They Closed the Plunkett Bar
'I'm bored and going crazy,'
said the young man to his friend.
'This small town living sucks my soul
and grief will be my end.
So something better happen soon
to break this irksome trend.'
'What can we do?' The other extolled
while continuing their walk.
'This place is like a ghost town
and all we do is talk.
And all the girls are now in bed
and it's only ten o'clock.'
They thought a bit and were not content
to see just how things are.
When one exclaimed, 'I know a place
and it isn't very far.
The time has come to take a chance
and go to Plunkett's bar.'
They walked right in standing tall
to hide their tender years.
People stared but their caps were low
as they tried to hide their fear.
Under age with no I.D.
so their chances were unclear.
Sam was huge, he tended bar
and had a fearsome grin.
He told the boys to come on over
as their hopes began to spin.
'What can I get you?' he uttered plain,
'They meekly answered gin.'
'Gin is fine and beer is good
when served in any vessel.
But I've got something you should try
and demons you will wrestle.
So sit right down and join the fun
and try a Plunkett special.'
Sam poured their drinks, something orange
with lemon for a twist.
It tasted dreadful but they were men
and needed no assist.
But if Hell had bars they'd be smart
and put this on their list.
Sam had stories, funny ones
about a man who wandered in.
If depression had a brother
this man would be his twin.
'I've got troubles,' said the man.
'If you knew just where I've been.'
'I've lost my job, my dog has died
and my truck's been repossessed.
My daughter has left her college
so my Parents aren't impressed.
To top it off... my wife's gone back to dating
just adding to my stress.'
'So I'll take this drink, pound it down
and put away my fears.
Give up the ghost and put away my shame
as I've led a life of tears.
I'll end it all and not look back,
this will be my last beer.'
When in the door a trucker came
who looked the missing link.
And sits beside this sad little man
who's clearly on the brink.
And quaffs the beer the man had hoped
would be his final drink.
The man starts to cry and the Trucker says,
'It only was a prank.
I didn't mean to make you sad
and cause your heart to tank.'
Through his sobs the man degrees,
'It was my poison that you drank.'
They start to howl, what a joke,
that Sam could turn a tale.
But those Plunkett specials weren't sitting well
as they both were turning pale.
But Sam had said, 'These drinks are cheap
and we're having quite a sale.
They couldn't believe their luck had turned,
they're drinking just like Kings.
The liquor flowed and the band was hot,
what would the next drink bring?
And Sam kept pouring, he didn't stop
as they ordered chicken wings.
Such a time was had by all
and they thanked their lucky star.
Though the drinks were bad and Sam was cool,
they still found it quite bizarre.
That two young boys with their first time out
had closed down the Plunkett bar.
Last call fell so they walked on home
and from what they could deduce.
Their stomachs were not so happy
after suffering much abuse.
And to this day they never knew
they were drinking pumpkin juice.
Copyright © David McHattie | Year Posted 2019
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