The Mystifying Secret
Here I am
Laying in a room
With a secret dear to my heart
But if I tell it, it will shatter everyone's world apart
I think, when I walk through the gates
My heart will be beating at a very uncomfortable pace
Because I am afraid
Afraid of God turning me away
The fear that I feel,
Lives so deep within
For this secret sealed
Is so filled with sin
Really, I'm scared
Because this burden is too heavy to be beared
There's no reason behind my sinful behavior
But it's too late to turn back, so I'll leave it up to my gentle Savior
Lord behold
And only God knows
I loved my life
More than any of my actions showed
I was ruthless and cold hearted toward myself
But everything is so unexplainable to everybody else
"Help her, help her!" I heard someone said
But little did they know that I wanted to be dead
Finally, I realize that I'm dying
I turn my head and there I'm leaving my mom crying
I use to think that she didn't care
Until this moment when I heard her cry of despair
I struggle to hold on to life
At least to answer my mom's whys
I don't want to leave her to wonder
Then I realized that my life was over when there was a dark cloud and a roll of
thunder
In the back of my mind, I was sad to go
The only pain I caused was not letting anyone know
The secret that I held behind
Is that I finally committed suicide
For the past years of my life
People wanted to get inside of my mind
You got inside...
Inside a mind that just committed suicide.
Copyright © Nicole Monae | Year Posted 2007
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