The Letter I Cannot Write

In your arms you held me With comfort and love to spare Yet you left me early To leave me in a heap and die You are the rain I suffer with Yet you make my harvest bloom You are the volcano that tears through the mountains Yet gives hope to a new start in life My heart pours open for you Like a 9000 foot dam Crashing to the floor Yet you cannot hear my silent echoes of pain When you escape from my hold You flood my world like the devils tsunami Yet you make my river, valleys and sea You are my poison leaking into my veins To kill my heart, spirit and my soul Yet you are the one who gives me drains, to escape the flood You’re the letter I cannot write And the heart I must keep well locked up I hate the feeling of love and pain Like the dagger you placed in my heart You’re in my mind, wherever you are I can love and hate the same Because I hate you for making me in love It would not be so bad if you were a distant Yet somehow you are always here You held me in your arms And clasped me by the throat I was in pain, yet could not seem to leave You are the one who I love most And could not leave until I must give in I thought it was for the best Yet I suffered yet more pain Now I think back I would do anything For one last clasp again I cling to you and you to me Like at that party in his chair I hugged you and you hugged me And I long for that moment ever spare I told you stuff, I never could tell Only you would understand Then you left me and I knew I would never have that hug again You leave me lonely, cold and shivering In the rain and in the snow I will never forgive you, for leaving me like that Yet, I cannot say goodbye As you have a clutch onto my heart And you leave lonely in that chair I miss you and write a letter of falsehood I mean what I say but it’s not the truth You are the letter I cannot write I wish I could, but if you knew The feelings, how I felt That you are the one I love Then you would never understand me ever again the same