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The Kid Named Not Me

There's a new kid at home, 
One nobody sees 
But we all know he's there. 
His name is Not Me. 

He took out all my colors 
And doodled on the wall. 
You can tell from how high he reached 
He isn't very tall. 

When my mom asked, 
"Whose art work can this be?"
The answer was unanimous. 
We all said, "Not Me!" 

Not Me is very naughty. 
He always makes a mess, 
And what he did with Sister's doll 
Is anybody's guess! 

He ruined Mommy's makeup. 
He messed up Daddy's hat. 
He even cut my bed sheets. 
Now, how bad was that? 

And when he takes a bath 
He gets water on the floor. 
And just last night 
He got toothpaste on the door. 

He spilled Kool-Aid on the carpet 
And broke some dishes in the sink. 
He left the milk out on the counter 
So now there's none to drink. 

When something's going wrong 
And Mom's angry as can be, 
You can always be sure he did it- 
That kid named Not Me.


This was written when my children were small and yes I read it to them often. Not me lived in my house for many Years and still makes an occasional visit.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Date: 4/21/2015 12:08:00 PM
He was Casper in our house, always "I dunno." Nicely done, Janet!
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/21/2015 12:31:00 PM
Oh, I think he has many names, but his function is always the same. Thanks for reading and commenting Mark!
Date: 4/20/2015 11:42:00 AM I truly, honestly and greatly loved everyone of them. Jim Horn
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/20/2015 3:31:00 PM
Wow, James, I'm honored you took the time to go through that list. I had to check out for myself what is on that first page..LOL ~Jan
Date: 4/18/2015 12:48:00 PM
Loved this poem. I was that not me kid.. Devilish as all get out and always in trouble as the cry of not me did not cut it with my dad. I had 12 brothers and sisters to squeal on me! A7 and truly delightful poem!
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/19/2015 1:51:00 AM
Wow..I can imagine how many times your parents heard those two words. LOL. With that many sibs. the odds were definitely stacked against you. I usually knew which of my four the Not Me was though..
Date: 4/14/2015 2:52:00 PM
Before that person lived with you, they lived with me for about 20 years... whatta coincidence!!! Hugs, Jack xxx
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/15/2015 9:38:00 AM
I think Not Me found the Fountain of Youth or he is this mischievous little pixie! I suspect that he will return in a few years when there are grandkids in the house. ~Jan
Date: 4/12/2015 11:47:00 AM
Good flow and pleasant sounding filled with great imagery, exhorting the sights and sounds locked in the memory of all children regardless of age. Emile. #7
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/15/2015 9:39:00 AM
I think most people can relate, especially if they are a parent, or have siblings...So glad he's gotten a bit bigger and the disasters smaller...LOL ~Jan
Date: 4/11/2015 9:28:00 PM
Thank you Janet, a mother always knows... thank you for the reply on my comment. :)
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Poet Destroyer A
Date: 4/11/2015 9:50:00 PM
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/11/2015 9:47:00 PM
Welcome Linda!
Date: 4/11/2015 9:09:00 PM
WOW, Janet this reminds me of the time I scribbled all over the barn wall... LOL, I was slick. I colored on the lower side and blamed my little brother... Yup, I said them words... "Not ME!" Enjoyed your poem... Had fun reading every line. From broken dishes to make up on my face... Who did it? That Kid not me... a perfect 7... LINDA
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/11/2015 9:26:00 PM
Linda the hardest thing about writing this was deciding what not to include, and I am pretty sure I know just which of my four did each of these deeds...all true stories.~Jan
Date: 4/11/2015 3:33:00 AM
LOL! I think every household has one, Janet. Loved this. A perfect 7! Oh, you are a funny girl after my own heart...Hugs! Kim :)
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/11/2015 9:43:00 PM
He was plenty active at mine that's for sure! Thanks for the comment and rating
Date: 4/10/2015 11:30:00 PM
this is REALLY really good for humor and just for being REAL. A FAVE
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/11/2015 9:37:00 PM
Thanks for the Fav
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Jaycee Cervenka
Date: 4/11/2015 9:32:00 PM
My four can ban together with the NotMe chant. I have to say, they do have sibling loyalty until Mean Momma starts handing out equal punishment for all!