Notes About The Poem
'Souper Suessy' Contest Info
Sponsor Benjamin Bartley
Contest Name Souper Suessy | Enter Contest
12/17/2025
THE KER-FLOOEY DABOOM AT THE NORTH POLE LAGOON
(Scene Start: A wide, peaceful shot of the North Pole. Everything is quiet. Too quiet.)
'Twas the dawn before Christmas, at quarter-to-three, The North Pole was peaceful as peaceful could be. The snow was polite, falling straight in a line, The Toy-Tinker-Timers were ticking just fine. The elves were all sleeping in neat little rows, With snuggly warm socks on their snuggly cold toes. Even the Reindeer were quiet in stalls, Not eating the tinsel that hung on the walls.
(Zoom In: On Barnaby Bix, the clumsiest elf in the history of clumsy elves. He is balancing a stack of fifty teacups.)
Yes, everything looked to be perfectly grand, Until Barnaby Bix took a wobbly stand. He tripped on a shoelace! He slid on some ice! He juggled the teacups-not once, and not twice! He spun like a top! He let out a holler! He crashed head-first into the "DO-NOT-TOUCH-COLLAR!"
(Animation erupts: A gigantic red button on a complicated machine is smashed. Sirens wail with sounds like squashed bagpipes. Lights flash purple and chartreuse.)
The Great Gizmo-Gasket, it gargled and burped! It hiccupped! It shuddered! It sizzled and slurped! The gears started grinding in opposite ways, Launching a chaotic, crazy-quilt craze!
It spit out the dollies with three extra ears! It filled up the water guns full of root beer! It put wheels on the teddy bears, wings on the trains! and stuffed jellybeans in the robot-toy brains!
(Cut to: The Reindeer Barn. It is total pandemonium.)
The trouble few outward! It zoomed out the door! It hadn't finished! No, it wanted some more! It hit Dancer and Prancer and Vixen and Blitz! It gave poor old Rudolph a terrible Fitz!
They flew upside down! They flew backward and sideways! They tangled their antlers on invisible sky-ways! They ended up knotted, a furry big ball, Stuck high on the roof of the Gingerbread Hall!
(Cut to: Santa's Bedroom. Santa wakes up, looking disheveled.)
Then Santa awoke with a snort and a sneeze, His mustache was tangled way down to his knees! His red flannel suit had been shrunk in the wash, It would now only fit a small butternut squash! "Oh dear!" cried St. Nick, in his underwear vest, "This Christmas is looking incredibly messed! The toys are ker-flooey! The deer are ker-plunked! The whole operation is totally junked!"
(Wide shot: The North Pole town square. Elves are running in circles screaming, toys are exploding into glitter, reindeer are hanging from lampposts. It is a masterpiece of disaster.)
The elves ran in circles, they pulled out their hair! There were half-finished bicycles flying through air! The gloom was so heavy the panic so thick, It seemed that the end had arrived double-quick.
(Zoom In: Barnaby Bix, looking very sad, standing on an overturned bucket amidst the mess.)
But then Barnaby Bix, wiped a tear from his eye, And looked up at the chaotic, crazy-quilt sky. He grabbed a big megaphone, dented and red, And this is the very wise thing that he said:
(The animation pauses. Everyone freezes mid-panic. A single rubber ducky falls with a squeak.)
"I started this mess with my clumsy big fee, But together we might just make Christmas complete! A mess that is massive, a pickle so prickly, Needs every last noodle to fix it up quickly! If you grab a hammer, and I grab some glue, There isn't a thing that we Whos cannot do!"
(A beat of silence. Then, a small elf raises a wrench. Another raises a paintbrush. The music swells heroically, but still sounds like kazoos.)
THEY DID IT! They grabbed all the sticky red tape! They glued the ears back on the dolly-toy ape! They untangled antlers with butter and grease! (Though Rudolph was left with slightly bent fleece).
The Yetis came down from the mountains of snow, To help get the sleigh-gliders ready to go! They used giant rubber bands, stretchy and pink! They fixed up the gears quick as more than a wink! Santa found trousers (a little bit baggy). And combed out his beard which was terribly snaggy!
(Final Shot: The Sleigh, looking slightly patched up with duct tape and bandages, is ready for takeoff. The sun is setting.)
And just as the moon started tickling the night, The North Pole looked almost - well, mostly-all right! The sleigh wasn't perfect, it wobbled a bit, The paint was still wet, and the seats didn't fit.
But it flew! Yes it flew! With a Zoom and a Zing! Because working together's a wonderful thing! They waved up at Santa, then fell in a heap, And the whole tired North Pole went straight back to sleep.
(Fade to black as a single, perfectly formed snowflake lands on Barnaby's Bix nose.)
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