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The Icy Wind

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I am trying to learn Iambic Pentameter, so any help is appreciated.

The cold, loud wind reminds me, that I'm warm . . . _______________ January 30, 2016 Iambic Pentameter

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 1/31/2016 4:31:00 AM
another excellent take on iambs there BW...
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La France Avatar
Constance La France
Date: 1/31/2016 4:33:00 AM
Sage, thanks, I will keep on trying till I get it ~
Date: 1/31/2016 12:01:00 AM
Either way one can feel the sentiment, loved the photo too! Hugs
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La France Avatar
Constance La France
Date: 1/31/2016 2:52:00 AM
Arthur, thanks for the compliment on the photo, I am determined to master this meter thing... determined !!!~!
Date: 1/30/2016 1:44:00 PM
Hey nice start--you've got the 10 syllable paired meter down, but I'd maybe look to avoid "but" since it can sort of add a hiccup to the rhythm, don't know how else to put it. Also the verb "to be" is maybe a bit too regular-English sounding. Assuming iambic pentameter, maybe something like this, losing the "but" and perhaps tossing in a side-order of personification: The cold loud wind reminds me that I'm warm.
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vaso Avatar
arthur vaso
Date: 1/31/2016 12:01:00 AM
Hi Brian, loved this, I confess lacking the knowledge, but the flow of your suggestion was great and I love learning from this!
La France Avatar
Constance La France
Date: 1/30/2016 1:53:00 PM
Brian, thanks so much for the help, yes your line sounds better than mine, yours has more personality !! So I will avoid the but hiccup and the verb "to be" when doing a meter line... will try another tomorrow !