The Icy Wind




The cold, loud wind reminds me, that I'm warm . . .



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January 30, 2016

Iambic Pentameter

windiambic pentameter

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White Sage

January 31, 2016 at 4:31 AM

another excellent take on iambs there BW...

Constance La France

January 31, 2016 at 4:33 AM

Sage, thanks, I will keep on trying till I get it ~

Brian Mcclain

January 30, 2016 at 1:44 PM

Hey nice start--you've got the 10 syllable paired meter down, but I'd maybe look to avoid "but" since it can sort of add a hiccup to the rhythm, don't know how else to put it. Also the verb "to be" is maybe a bit too regular-English sounding. Assuming iambic pentameter, maybe something like this, losing the "but" and perhaps tossing in a side-order of personification: The cold loud wind reminds me that I'm warm.

Arthur Vaso

January 31, 2016 at 12:01 AM

Hi Brian, loved this, I confess lacking the knowledge, but the flow of your suggestion was great and I love learning from this!

Constance La France

January 30, 2016 at 1:53 PM

Brian, thanks so much for the help, yes your line sounds better than mine, yours has more personality !! So I will avoid the but hiccup and the verb "to be" when doing a meter line... will try another tomorrow !

The Icy Wind

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