The Greater the High, the Harder the Crash
So good at hiding yourself for nothing
When you were singing that song you listen to,
On and on
Even though your eyes were closed,
It looked as though you were singing to someone in particular
Behind your eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image
of who and what could've been
Well of course I retreat,
I have the relationship I want with it in my head
Holding myself captive with a doctorate in getting high off my own supply
Well of course I hesitate
And the emotional side effects are just the icing on the cake
These options are malnourished
And these solutions and falling short
And showing up like me
Lost, in love, and a little drunk
Well of course I retreat,
Your fake apology left me paralyzed like a spinal cord injury
Well of course I hesitate,
The moment I give even a grain,
Is the moment where my focus is wired to overcompensate
You're not entitled to reliance
It's something you earn
This is up to you, the weapon that you choose
This is up to you, the age of medicine and tools that you refuse
And this is up to me, to hoist the weight onto my shoulders or let it fall with gravity
Dead weight in jewelry boxes
Crystals and stars covertly scattered
But you already know the load on my plate that's only known to shatter
But it's okay, don't pity me
Don't even bother
Like a camera,
I'm too exposed to hopeful light
That only makes me shutter
When you were singing that song you listen to,
On and on
Even though your eyes were closed,
It looked as though you were singing to someone in particular
Behind your eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image of who and what could've been
But this is up to you, the weapons that you discard or that you use
You could be high on your own supply but it'll always be abused
These options are malnourished and lack critical thinking
Emergency service seems despondent
With these mental alarms, only blinking
Well of course I retreat,
I have the relationship I want with it in my head
Behind my weary eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image of who and what could've been
Copyright © Matthew Bailey | Year Posted 2024
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