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Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
So good at hiding yourself for nothing
When you were singing that song you listen to,
On and on
Even though your eyes were closed,
It looked as though you were singing to someone in particular
Behind your eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image 
of who and what could've been 

Well of course I retreat,
I have the relationship I want with it in my head
Holding myself captive with a doctorate in getting high off my own supply 
Well of course I hesitate 
And the emotional side effects are just the icing on the cake 

These options are malnourished
And these solutions and falling short 
And showing up like me
Lost, in love, and a little drunk 

Well of course I retreat,
Your fake apology left me paralyzed like a spinal cord injury
Well of course I hesitate,
The moment I give even a grain, 
Is the moment where my focus is wired to overcompensate 

You're not entitled to reliance 
It's something you earn 
This is up to you, the weapon that you choose 
This is up to you, the age of medicine and tools that you refuse 
And this is up to me, to hoist the weight onto my shoulders or let it fall with gravity 
Dead weight in jewelry boxes
Crystals and stars covertly scattered 
But you already know the load on my plate that's only known to shatter 
But it's okay, don't pity me 
Don't even bother
Like a camera, 
I'm too exposed to hopeful light 
That only makes me shutter 

When you were singing that song you listen to,
On and on 
Even though your eyes were closed,
It looked as though you were singing to someone  in particular
Behind your eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image of who and what could've been 
But this is up to you, the weapons that you discard or that you use 
You could be high on your own supply but it'll always be abused 
These options are malnourished and lack critical thinking 
Emergency service seems despondent 
With these mental alarms, only blinking 
Well of course I retreat,
I have the relationship I want with it in my head
Behind my weary eyelids,
Lays the faded, festering image of who and what could've been
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