The Gift of Being
With trepidation, loneliness, and fear,
I called to you
And you lived pristinely
You lived in my heart
I heard their mystical, sage voices cry out
“The one you seek is coming,
Oh so soon is he coming!
And what a formidable union it shall be!
Syncing together—mind and soul!
A fiery union fit for the gods!"
And yet—even the gods falter
Even the gods cannot foresee ruin
This ruin I speak of comes from the depths of self-deprecation
From the thin valves of doubt’s coldest rain
Icy sheets that leak through the clouds
Like knives they dive with gravity on their side
Only to melt in limpid liquids upon the soil of my despair
I could say to these beings,
"May the truth release these pains!
May the truth lead him to me!"
But in so doing I would but rush fate
And fate needs no human thrust
For she abides in the worthiest trust
"Oh so soon will this union be!
Blessed be the heavens above in their entirety
That bring down the rains of our deepest fears
To catch the loneliest of tears
And to make use of her endurable longing!"
With trepidation, loneliness and fear,
I called to you
Through a meditation of certain soulmate union
I gripped upon the rims of mindfulness
To search deep in the fathoms of my consciousness
To find
Even a skeleton of your existence
And it was there that I found peace
When I touched that glass
To see the blurry outline of your hand
On the other side
This blurry wall between us brought the rains to a torrent
As I opened that door to meet you—
I sobbed in your arms
For you must have heard my call
And oh so sweetly did you answer
In an embrace wondrously welcomed
When I shut the door, to leave my mind,
My painful meditation—
I opened my eyes back to reality
To a world yet still I meant to comprehend
Without you to bear it with me
And I, at last free,
Called to Him—
Asking for you
He then gave me to you swiftly
And I received you as a starving fledgling
Receives its final meal before flight
Dangling on the edge of this inescapable cliff
I received you like God received my prayer
On a faithful jump to death impending life
For you see,
I did not need any seer, divine enchantress,
No gentle leading voice,
Or guided contemplation
To find you
I needed no prophesy to know of your coming
All I needed was the confidence to speak
To ask
And the gift that is you was given to me
The door was fully open to me
A door leading to the light of union
The gift of being—
As precious as the lofty sun
Shining down after a lamenting rain
Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2019
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