Charles Gillihan Poet Rhyme

The Fart Poem

THE FART POEM

A rose is a rose
By any other name.
A fart is a fart,
It smells the same.

A puff of air
From a dainty derriere,
A blast of gas
From a hairy ass.
The smell of beans
Passing through your jeans,
A deadly silent sleeper,
Bottle it! It's a keeper.

Of course, there are some
Who look down on the fart,
Considering it rude,
Instead of art.

A burst of methane
From the criminally insane.
A wet one,
Don't want to get one.
A foul discharge
From uncontrolled bowels.
The scum of the sphincter
Crude, nasty, vile stinker!

But such criticism
Is most unfair.
It's not as if farters
Are putting on airs.

They're proud on what comes
From their faithful rectums;
And they don't give a hoot
If some don't like their toot.
And to their critics they proudly send
A blast of hot, sulfurous wind.
One past gasser said put on my tomb,
He blew out a candle across the room.

Parting shot:
Some say a dinosaur fart
Could shatter a boulder, tear it apart;
But they died from the gas that out of them poured,
Giving a new meaning to killed by assteroid.

NOTE: This may very well be my last poem on Poetry Soup if I am banned
          by the censors. But that's ok. I just thought that in the midst of all the
          angst, misery, and depression (including mine) some might enjoy a 
          hearty laugh. By the way, Benjamin Franklin loved fart humor. 

Wounded Healer
Submitted 8/30/09
Written 10/16/08

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William Kershaw August 31, 2009 at 7:00 PM Charles, Flatulance is funny. I found this farty poem fabulous fun. Poor dinosaurs killed by a blast of gas from their own...... Thanks for the laughs. I really had need of a chuckle tonight. Always, Will

Wilfredo Derequito August 30, 2009 at 11:57 PM And scientifically speaking, it's been shown that farting is the biggest contributor to global warming. Science has shown that pollution and emissions of fossil fuels from cars and factories are not the biggest causes of the greenhouse effect. It's the methane gas released by the millions of sheep and cattle raised for human consumption. But as to the effect of the "gassy" human expulsions to global warming, I still have to do my research on that, ha ha.

Wilfredo Derequito August 30, 2009 at 11:41 PM Wa ha ha. So funny, I like this write. Okay, some might consider it crude but I don't. Because hey, whether you're president, prime minister, Ms. Universe or the Pope, everybody and without exception has to go through the motion...of passing gas! Which by the way is the only kind of gas that comes cheap, unlike gases that come from oil and gas fields! LOL Fred

Karla Null August 30, 2009 at 10:35 PM I will go to bed with a smile on my face, thanks for the flavorful humor...Karla

John Freeman August 30, 2009 at 12:57 PM You may well be right about your last one! But humanity's humorous, humor-esque, and away she blew, shu, shu! Lol!

Sara Kendrick August 30, 2009 at 7:16 AM Nicely written. I say it is humorous not crude. Have you read "Harry The Farting Dog" series for children. I got them for my grandson. I love the humor about part of being human but wish that we didn't have the problem. Keep writing. Sara