The Eating Habits of Vanilla Gussett
I am me!
I am beautiful greediest me!
I'm quite simply gigantic, enormous, colossal- bigantic!
I'm huge I'm not small I could fill Albert hall -
What a beautiful thing to be me.
I can eat a cake shop in one sitting
Forty boxes of chocs without quitting,
If I had half a mind to-
I could well be inclined to
-Start over again, food permitting.
They say I've no stomach to diet.
'Lazy lummock!' they scream. 'You must try it!'
I just laugh from my belly
Till it wobbles like jelly,
'Come on then,' I say, 'come and fry it!'
It is said I'm too lazy to chew.
It's an art, It's not easy to do.
I just open my gob
And with a flick and a lob-
Down the hatch, tallyho, toodaloo!
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