Premiere Contest WinnerThe Day After Christmas

On the day after Christmas, they started appearing,
cast out of houses, stripped of their finery,
lying crooked in the gutter, garbage bags flanking.

My brothers and I walked to school
and halfway there, three blocks away,
was a steep ravine called The Hollow.
A place of some dark mystery in summer,
one hundred feet deep and forbidden land
according to most parents, The Hollow
sang its song to all neighborhood kids.

Returning to school after Christmas,
my brothers and I would drag the discarded
Christmas trees along the sidewalk and onto the bridge
that spanned The Hollow, then heave them over the railing,
watching their graceful tumble earthward, 
their air brushing final fall.

"Hey, I used to do that too!" Donnie was a lot older,
almost done with high school, and his walk took him
right by our elementary school - he laughed to see us
hauling the trees to that concluding bridge.
He grabbed a large one, bigger than any of us could handle,
and upon the bridge had us help him hold it upright on the railing,
as it stood in life, as it looked down upon Christmas gifts;
we watched it slowly lean into Gravity,
watched the balletic descent into silence.

Donnie kept with us that first month into the new year,
the pile of trees growing in the bottom of The Hollow.
He told us things, we told him things,
we asked him things and he told us more.

My brothers and I still talk about that big tree
on the railing of the bridge over The Hollow.
It hit right on top of the pile of other trees
and bounced off to the side, its own special place.

As January wore on, we didn't find as many trees,
and ultimately it was all done.  
Eventually the school year too was done,
and then more years, and school itself was done.
The trees at the bottom of The Hollow rotted away to nothing.
Somewhere in there my mom told me that Donnie
had been shipped off to war, killed within a few weeks.
We had that one magic month.


December 25, 2016

For Anthony Slausen's contest - 'The Day After Christmas'
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Deo Avatar
April 21, 2017 at 5:31 PM
Doug, I did read this before now ... but let me offer my belated SEVEN. I was expecting some accident in the middle of the poem, but the surprise ending is tragic, even for patriotic service being the loss of this older Friend. U may have immortalized him, PTL. shalom
Vinson Avatar
April 22, 2017 at 8:21 AM
Thank you, Anil.
Dietrich Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 9:03 PM
this is quite amazing, Doug. What a twist at the end. Sorry I had to get up from my computer for a bit and now I'm back and am finished for the night!! SEVEN on this gem
Vinson Avatar
April 8, 2017 at 9:54 AM
:: laughing... :: Oh, Andrea. : ) No need to apologize. I'm glad you like it.
Dietrich Avatar
April 7, 2017 at 8:51 PM
another one on your best poems list. and a trophy winner no less!! Let me read this.
Huxley Avatar
March 16, 2017 at 4:23 AM
Excellent. Very vivid :)
Vinson Avatar
March 16, 2017 at 12:58 PM
Thanks for reading and for the nice comment, Rebecca. Hope things are going well over your way. : )
Ricci Avatar
March 9, 2017 at 4:58 AM
Hello Doug. Congratulations on your winning entry. You wrote with vividness. We were there along with the characters looking on. Also your ending made us stop and pause for it was very expressive with thought and emotion. Well done throughout.
Vinson Avatar
March 9, 2017 at 9:00 AM
Hey Lisa. : ) Thank you.
Roberts Avatar
February 24, 2017 at 7:18 PM
Congratulations Doug
Vinson Avatar
February 24, 2017 at 10:00 PM
Hey Donna. : ) Thank you.
Warrior Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 6:37 PM
Congrats!!! my friend...a great narrative...god bless...^WW^
Vinson Avatar
January 3, 2017 at 8:02 AM
A'ight den, WW. : )
Haight Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 4:40 PM
Doug, congratulations on your well-deserved First Place Trophy win on this amazing narrative! And, Happy New Year to you! Sandra
Vinson Avatar
January 3, 2017 at 8:01 AM
Gracias, Sandra! And yes - here comes 2017...<~~Amazing.
Kroll Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 8:59 AM
Congrats. On your win, Doug! I could truly relate to the events in your narrative poem. Age gives us a unique perspective on life's happenings and how we arrived at the present... Look forward to reading more of your poetry. Kathy
Vinson Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Thank you, Kathy. How did we arrive at the present? Seems impossible to forecast ahead of time, for most of us, but in looking back it makes sense.
Neumann Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 3:02 AM
F***, that is a twist. A great narrative poem. A thoughtful start to my morning...Thanks, Kai
Vinson Avatar
January 2, 2017 at 11:36 AM
Cheers, Kai. Many passings....
Martin Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 4:23 PM
Great story - congrats Doug! :-)
Vinson Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 9:45 PM
Ahoy, Mark. : ) I appreciate that, Sir. Cheers, Doug.
Krampe Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 9:04 AM
Congrats on your win, Doug. Great take on the prompt!
Vinson Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 9:43 PM
Thank you, Agnes. I had previously written a much longer, and much more fictional piece titled, "The Day After Christmas," including the same themes.
Kundu Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 8:30 AM
In a way, a reader can almost feel a sense of dread that a tragedy of some sort is coming, because how else would a good coming of age story end. But the last stanza hits just the same. Truly magnificent, Doug!
Vinson Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 9:35 PM
Cheers, Tamal. : ) I think the "Void" is with us, even as we conceptualize, and as we begin to write, at times. Is that good or bad? I suppose it just "is."
White Avatar
December 31, 2016 at 12:30 AM
Donnie kept with us that first month into the new year,..//.. the pile of trees growing in the bottom of The Hollow...//.. He told us things, we told him things,..//.. we asked him things and he told us more...//.. That is just so wonderfully described, endearing in a strange sort of way, something that makes me smile.
Vinson Avatar
January 1, 2017 at 9:39 PM
Cheers, Darren. :: fills cup with the Nectar of the Gods; drinks deep.... ::
White Avatar
December 31, 2016 at 11:32 PM
Woo hoo Doug, you won!!!! Gratis with the little beautiful icon thingy :)
Vinson Avatar
December 31, 2016 at 12:56 AM
: ) We really did drag the Christmas trees to the bridge and throw them over, and we really did know slightly older guys who went to Vietnam and died. In 2017 or 2018 it will be 50 years.
Promise Avatar
December 30, 2016 at 6:24 AM
A story within a story. That one magic month with Donnie would be a fabled memory, his giving his life for all. Best wishes for the New Year, Rainbow.
Vinson Avatar
December 30, 2016 at 8:39 PM
Cheers, Rainbow. : ) Almost a 100% true story, coming up on the half-century mark.
Govender Avatar
December 26, 2016 at 1:07 PM
Beautiful piece!!! I found it really intriguing but still quite sad :(
Vinson Avatar
December 26, 2016 at 2:54 PM
Hi Keshan, thank you. Gone forever...
Burch Avatar
December 25, 2016 at 11:11 PM
Wow!! Gripping Doug!! I don't fancy long poems... I'm just too blonde and my ADD kicks in ;) but this... you had my attention from the start!! Heartbreaking ending. *tear* love your work... Big Hugggs!! Deb
Vinson Avatar
December 26, 2016 at 11:54 AM
Thanks, Deb. I do see the attraction of shorter things - it's nice if it fits on one view of the web page, for starters.... ; )
Onclaud Avatar
December 25, 2016 at 2:03 PM
ohh, what a different slant for the theme, doug... this is sadly beautiful!..huggs
Vinson Avatar
December 26, 2016 at 11:42 AM
Thank you, Nette. : ) Things end.
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