The Age of Indolence

Being a household hero and laying in my hammock, is the only reason. Summer in my backyard, is my favorite season. I love a soft warm southern breeze. As I lay I the shade of Red dogwood trees... The only Hurricane in the forecast, is swirling with ice in my tall glass. As I enjoy the lay of the land, lounging here all day is only part of my plan. Quietly protecting the peace, my silent sentinel of serenity. Man’s best friend, a full grown three-pound chocolate chihuahua asleep under my feet. A beautiful woman enters my view, and she has a list of chores for me to do. Seeing the way, she’s dressed and headed in my direction I thought maybe she’d like to help me with my now rising (wish it was bigger). She strolls toward me singing my name. She sings a song of why I’m at the top of her list for the lazy man’s hall of fame. Her velvety voice is music to my ears. If you like the sound of a drill sergeant, commanding troops for a number of years. It is from my lovely wife where I catch hell. Because she knows her husband, dose nothing very well. A wonderful woman, soft as silk, but when she’s in a mood her voice has been known to curdle milk. Lift that bail! tote that barge! Trim those bushes! And wash the Car! She says Honey when are you going to cut the grass? And I say Right now, my riding mower seems to be out of gas. She says then you could put together the new barbecue grill. I pictured the unopened box in my garage, and say Honey I checked the parts and its missing a wheel. She says OK! When are you going to start building the back deck? And I said Yesterday I talked to a contractor but he wouldn’t take a check. She says The grand kids are looking forward to playing on the new swings. And I said Well I think I’ll have that together by some time, next spring. She says Well when are you going to walk this ole dog that pays me no mind? And I said If you look honey, she’s got four legs and I think she walk’s just fine. She says you can at least wash the car and trim the bushes! I take a sip from my drink, and took a half minute to think... I looked in her beautiful brown eyes. Knowing this isn’t what she wants to do. She climbs into my arms, you see, my hammock is very comfortable. It was made for two.