Thankful

A man of few words, my father taught by example. The best thing he showed me was to set my standards high and to be my own judge - always modest never defiant or arrogant. If something needed doing I should do it without expecting praise - self-satisfaction being the ultimate goal. He taught me to set my sights high and to be my own boss no matter the circumstances – to be fiercely independent not count on anyone. I learned to go about my business and be self-sufficient. I did not do well in teams – like a bull in a china shop I had my objectives and went at them as a loner. I never saw it exactly that way but I did get good at it to a fault. One day, it was a rude awakening when it dawned on me how I was doing things for people and they were consistently ungrateful. I knew the problem couldn’t completely be with them My so-called modesty had become self-fulfilling servitude. It finally registered that if people didn’t have to ask, they didn’t have to say ‘thanks’. And that never mattered to me until I realized that they were in fact not thankful And THAT was a whole different ball game. I literally spent days if not weeks stubbornly trying to unlearn and reprogram myself. Tried to get it through my skull that if people ASK for something, or at least ADMIT they would appreciate something, that’s when they might actually appreciate it How cheap can people be - what a warped world we live in. For me, it was a hard lesson in human nature - I was actually an enabler encouraging people to take me for granted. People really do like games even the ones who say they hate them. Admittedly it was late in life I learned this lesson And I admit I often still choose to do things without getting people to actually ask. But at least I’m cognizant of my ways. And admittedly when I do pause and play the ‘asking’ game, it does pay off. But I’m so unbelievably stubborn I don’t always want to pay the price for their gratitude so to this day, if I feel something needs to be done I’ll just get it done. AP: Honorable Mention 2021 Posted on April 25, 2018