Tax Man - a Country Haibun

Greetings. We received your toxic tax documents today; proceeded to immerse them in the de-cootie wash for precisely 30 minutes; then showered them with Gamma Ray’s, which is not what you think it is, but rather a high powered barbecue sauce (made by some Texan’s grandma) that’s strong enough to knock those little booger viruses out clean cold. The only problem is, by the time we detoxified your tax documents, no print was left and the paper had the consistency of TP. So, you guessed it, seein’ as how TP is more or less the top selling commodity worldwide as such, I put it up for sale on eBay and made enough money where I can retire and never do taxes again. So, I want to thank you for supplying the seed that germinated my newfound wealth, and I’m happy to inform you that you’ll be receiving an autographed copy of my soon to be published book, which I thoughtfully titled “CORNFED-19 Pandamick—Making Lemonade From Lemons” by T. P. Roller (which happens to be my sudo-numb). Have a nice evening! opportunity most zany woodpecker knocks— heh-heh-heh-hehhhh-heh 5/2/2020 This is a zany, flight of fancy, inspired by my secular profession after 4 weeks of lockdown! The resulting haiku is inspired by Woody Woodpecker—created by Walter Lantz and Ben Hardaway—a cartoon that appeared in theatrical short films produced by the Walter Lantz Studio and distributed by Universal Studios. Woody Woodpecker first appeared in the short film "Knock, Knock" (November 25, 1940). Woody Woodpecker's unforegettable signature laugh begins with "heh-heh-heh-hehhhh-heh," which works well with my haiku since it has 5 syllables! (Woody Woodpecker | Wikipedia) TMI? Oh, my!