Tamed Beast

I want to tell you a true life story, This very story has never been told to any ear before now; It’s a burden to hold this story to my heart alone; As I share a demo of my experience, the loads lessen; From my script, these are uncensored truths that I reveal; I’m a product of sin and born out of mixed feelings too; The feelings of love and hate, burning deep in my heart; The stronger one grew with me and dominated my soul; The hate I received, I learnt to give back always; Hate turned to my strength; I knew no weakness. I grew up strong, my hate grew stronger than me; In so many ways, I dished out this cold hate to anyone against me; Life experiences were unfair to me, it unfairly turned me to a beast; I lost my mother at seven, my father at fourteen with no siblings except me; I turned to hate myself, I lost myself amidst my losses; I was left alone in a world I couldn’t understand, so vulnerable; No parents, no siblings, no inheritance, and no love; I became blind on the inside; I couldn’t see any future; No hope, no vision, no inspiration, I became suicidal; Countless attempts; yet, my spirit failed them all. My life refused to end, my pain became endless; Year in and out, I lived a tormented life on earth; I cry every time I’m alone, smiling in pretense to ignorant faces; I learnt to comfort myself, none can comfort the pain they don’t see; I weep every mothers’ day, fathers’ day so much disgust me; When my friends talk about their siblings, I feel utterly odd; Surrounded by uncaring relatives, with none to relate my pains; But, I’m always lucky with caring friends, they turned into family; Still, I couldn’t trust anyone because I have been hurt by friends too; Since I’m used to my solitude state of mind; I can only believe myself. I’m not sorry, if you can’t comprehend my life synopsis; A detailed account will exhume buried pains; I refuse to cry again; I embraced my fate, I lived nonchalantly since I don’t care what may happen; My last suicidal attempt in 2011 was the last one; couldn’t believe I could be saved; The last time was really the last one, I found love in 2012 and love took over me; The love I found turned to weakness, but the its strength gave me a reason to live; To love and cherish my lover became an obsession; she became a precious possession; For once, I became afraid of losing my life, that gave me hope not to lose my mind.