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It seems I always 
swim upstream 
against the current.
re-creating struggles 
of conflicting contradictions
and unsweetened scripts
at odds with others
in deeds and words
a emotional dissonance 
played out over a lifetime. 
banged and buffered hard
against the onflow;
prevailing opposites rush
to assail my efforts
intent on wearing me down
scraping, scarring, challenging
calling me out with
harsh ridicule and doubt
why must I cause stirred sediments 
to muddy, blind and bewilder me
blurring reason so that
what is seen as truth 
often becomes mixed
with drama and ambivalence? 
how righteous is the direction
of this timeless stream?
shall I swim with it or against it?
go one way or the other;
does it really matter?

I cannot give up
I cannot relent...
this is who I am
a person searching
for kindred spirits
to swim backward 
with me
against the current.
to find some direction,
some marker that guides
this hurrier to a another plane
of purposeful existence.


I think most people at some time are contrarian.
Some from the start; others in their teens.
Some all through their life.
I can't remember being otherwise.
In retrospect, am I really that different
or do I use it an excuse
to be noticed?  Perhaps both. 

CAK 10-13-12013

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Date: 1/7/2014 11:27:00 PM
I can relate so well to this poem, Allan. Thank you for suggesting it. I have fought the currents and gone against the grain my entire life. I have always gone my own way, even if others were going in another direction. It is just the way I am! You expressed your feelings so well here, and I admire those poets who do so! Excellent work, Allan!...Thank you so much for the great comments. I appreciate it!
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Date: 11/17/2013 12:17:00 AM
Allen, I know when i like something, and this I LOVE>...< first i like the image of you you doing the wondrous of swimming up streams.. WOW! to that imagery. Placing you dreams, in finding whom you are.. connecting with Kindred spirits, finding the right direction... amazing write... a perfect 10... and the second poem I FAVORITE today... hugs..LINDA
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Allan Koven
Date: 11/17/2013 11:01:00 AM
Linda, you are so gracious and your kind words tell me that you are a generous soul. Thank you. Allan
Date: 10/30/2013 11:46:00 AM
Mark 14:35 is the only time I can recall Jesus being confused except the exact time of the end. Do you know any other moments where he might have had any lapses. Walking the shore might be easier.
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Date: 10/30/2013 6:26:00 AM
Thoughtful and very well written. I have always liked to blaze my own path. If someone draws a line that can't be crossed I will just dance a jig on it, until the line is blurred and go my own way.
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Date: 10/25/2013 4:35:00 PM
You are who you are, and your not alone. Be it!... Live it!...Love it!... Nice write.
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Date: 10/23/2013 5:35:00 PM
wow not for nothing, Allen this happens to be the best poem I've read this month. ... love Skat
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Allan Koven
Date: 10/23/2013 5:46:00 PM
Thanks Skat, I was hoping this poem resonates with some in the Soup.
Date: 10/23/2013 12:35:00 PM
And so well put my dear poet. I have always felt the same. I always "take the road less traveled". Life has always been a question for me, still it is the way I am. My Father use to say I was my own worst enemy...SMiles, I do so love your work. Cannot wait to read more. As Always, Shar
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Date: 10/23/2013 10:13:00 AM
Thoughtful introspective thoughts on the hurdles of l;ife, Allan
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