Surrounded and Lost- In the Nothing

It's like nobody knows me, or Maybe nobody cares. It's like I'm alone, so empty, Though I'm surrounded by empty stares. I try to be grateful. I try not to be rude, but It's as though the gifts and thoughts for me Are filled with self-gratitude From the giver, into the solitude. I search deep within me. I just cannot find The answers buried in my heart, and The truth behind the excuses in my mind. I fall helplessly into misunderstanding. I see myself so spiteful and demanding. I hate the way I am; I hate the way I've been. I hate the way I'm feeling. There is no defense. Someday I will figure out Everything confusing me inside. Today is not that day. Right now is not the time.