Surfing Life

The world had caved in on me once again and I counted the pressure looked outside and felt sad unbalanced restless and torn from myself Wild winds were brewing and surfing the waves seemed out of question sand in hollow eyes caused me to cry out to the Universe for a message The only perfect matter is imperfection and permanence is a myth so much my grandmother taught me when she told me her story of waiting in the fishermen’s hut by the beach for her man to come back a lantern by her side for good luck but he died in an unforgiving ocean And yet every night from thereon she sat on a bench facing the sea cried lonely tears carried on mending nets and dressed in black garb nestled sea shells like rosaries watched the lighthouse that had failed to save her husband and nevertheless counted her blessings in faith There is salt on my skin and I once tasted love that will never leave me some things last forever and my memories will never fade from memory I admired her for her resilience and belief in eternal values and strength and look back on her life when sorrow overcomes me and rips me apart A modern woman myself I wished for such power and crested the sway rip tides and unrelentless currents that moved me in torment and deluge Whenever I needed to remind myself of death and braving my plight I took to my surf board and tempted crested breakers’ natural might So one time for that reason I decided to wax my resolve and catch spindrift tease combers and gravitation and set out to face the cliffs in bold courage which did not appear to be a good safe place to stay in peace and one piece My friends called it foolhardy especially when drowning in internal gloom To make the task harder I set out in darkness and followed the starlight far out from the shore in crushing weather forecast not to ever return It did not take me long thereafter to catch that perfect almighty surge and knew that this was reckoning beckoning and one final desperate ride One more lick of my lips one ultimate farewell to terminal apathy and off I went on a make-or-break passage into the underworld of endmost despair and crushed into a blow hole that threw me high up into the air in surprise wounded and yet unperturbed by survival I crawled away from the edges That is when I realized that this had been the quest for meaning and hope my tale to tell my offspring to nurture their feelings when times got rough Joy harmony and tranquil rescue can be unaffected by external forces but it is the seeking inside that grants permanence further down the line 10th February 2021