Suicide's Debris - A Niece's Tale of Loss
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This is what I have been dealing with at home. We must learn to be understanding of someone's frail state before we judge. Thank you for reading this.
This poem is exactly what you need to read if you are ever thinking about taking your life. My daughter was but a 4 year old little girl who is STILL affected by her TiTi's (Auntie Karen) suicide. Her assignment in English class was to write your "personal narrative", and she wrote this. A tale of love and loss at such a young age. May she be blessed with healing as she grows. Even though she is making is seem she has got better as she grew, this momma knows she's really not here at home. It breaks my heart when I read this because I KNOW she is in more pain than she is leading on in this poem. This is what happens. You get a little girl who has no idea how to handle her emotions due to the depth of suicide's darkness...if Karen only knew what debris she left behind nine years ago.
This is exactly how she wrote it:
"Come home from preschool to hear some really bad news-
My aunt was found but not alive,
Oh, how I thought she would survive.
Not understanding anything, I was only four,
I still can’t go back to that dollar store.
I still remember those fun times today,
I wish all my tears were washed away.
Things got better as I grew, so much I had,
Although I never knew that I would be so sad.
Life is good and up and down,
I think I smile and laugh more than I frown.
My family has been here since thick and thin,
Even when the lights were dim.
I really miss my aunt, I think of her every day,
But I know I will see her again one day.
My family is finally at peace and rest,
Now that we got all the pain off our chests.
I love my cousins, they cheer me up,
They really fill my morning cup.
Sometimes I feel I have a depressing lifetime,
But now I don’t think of it that way-
Because I have a loving family who makes my soul shine."
-By my beautiful daughter Ella Rose, my sweet girl
a 13 year old who loved her TiTi more than life
Written: October 24, 2019
Posted: October 27, 2019
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2019