Suicide

I smoked a cigarette today and couldn't understand why. It was a bad habit indulged long forgotten of mine and then it suddenly struck me. I realized why. I guess I simply want to die, but cigarette smoking is a very slow and painful process of suicide. So I made a decision. I'm going to ride out life's ride with all of its twists and turns and the occasional surprise guaranteed to strike me unexpectedly right between the eyes. If I have to I will continue to swim against life's tide because realistically eventually we're all going to die. What's the big rush? Why even consider suicide? When I'm at that lowest depressed state that one can possibly be, here's something I do regularly that seems to help me. I look at myself in the mirror and say out loud to me, "Buck up and be a man you oversensitive big baby!" That's me giving tough love to me.