Sufficient Substitute

I live life in an unhealthy abyss Of a dream I see as a sufficient substitute Of a Savior I work and work to be a man like this To fall in love and be in my own heaven As I play God I shake as I dream of her lips The urge, Oh what I’d give for a kiss What will she think of me As I strive to be the king of the world I mask my insufficiencies To be the man I need to be I swear I’ll save myself this time This life gives the things I hate And takes the things I desire I sit in the stomach of the beast Which is my mind and the way it is wired Oh how I crave for the things that kill me I lie as I take the salt to quench my thirst Maybe this time will be different, I know I’ll change But as I sleep, my subconscious digs my own grave What will she think of me As I strive to be the king of the world I mask my insufficiencies To be the man I need to be I swear I’ll save myself this time I get nothing but heartbreak The more I give myself away I put myself on the line In hopes our fates would intertwine Still I get rejected Through all the bullshit I’ve been through I need a new hope I need a new home I used to believe I should live with pride But through every failure, I hate to be alive I live life in an unhealthy abyss Of a dream I see as a sufficient substitute Of a Savior I work and work to be a man like this To fall in love and be in my own heaven As I play God I shake as I dream of her lips The urge, Oh what I’d give for a kiss What will she think of me As I strive to be the king of the world I mask my insufficiencies To be the man I need to be I swear I’ll save myself this time