Stuck

finds herself stuck because the money she was supposed to get from the Feds, didn’t turn out the way that she had planned (she’d forgotten about that loan she took out years ago to do nursing online, only to find out later that she didn’t & wouldn’t have the time, when pregnancy brought her third little girl into the world). finds herself stuck because the man she’s with has been dwindling & in the different ways that a relationship can fail, the tension brews as the time spent in bed grows more & more sparse, as the two of them, exhausted from working opposite shifts, in order to take care of the kids at hand, have no energy left to entertain the possibility of intimacy. finds herself stuck because the time it would take to start again is burning now quicker than it ever had before & the person she sees looking back at her in the mirror, just isn’t as confident as she used to be in getting rid of the old, in order to go searching for someone new. finds herself stuck because in the immediacy of the overwhelming moment, it is so very hard to breathe, and as the anxiety comes creeping up quick, she wants to flee to somewhere so she can cry alone.