Struggling

Sometimes I wake up and just want to cry/ It seems society deemed me unfit to survive/ I made mistakes, and I know I was wrong/ I only wanna move forward and carry on/ But I can't get hired because of court papers/ I’m doin the opposite of elevating, im declining/ And its hard to keep my soul forever shinning/ Because I’m unwanted, stuck in a binding/ Caught in the mist of pain I produced/ And it's deteriorating my soul like a bite from a brown recluse/ I feel trapped, incarcerated in a mental deminsion/ Hanging on by one thread left in my existing/ Sometimes I ask, “Lord why”?/ But Im yet to here any such reply/ Im left alone in the valley of the shadow of death/ Wishing one day I’ll feel serenity before my final breathe/