Steps Aside

STEPS ASIDE They’ve banned the “step counters” Outlawed the treadmill and stationary bike Banned jogging (aka fast walking for the elderly) Sports will be limited to “non-aerobic” activities Tiddlywinks tournaments will be Government funded. Scientific research and investigation Funded by the “stay inside and die sooner” chapter Of the “Governmental Gottcha Groups” Has conjectural and anecdotal evidence That the heavy breathing induced by exercise Increases the carbon dioxide emissions Of those engaged in anaerobic exercise. Suggested alternate activities are: -Daydreaming, -Scheming (aka conspiring with imaginary friends) -Meditation…without chanting -Astral Traveling (with or without passport) -Thinking, but only about the things presented in our booklet -(also known as “Talking Points) Or the “Rip Van Winkle” solution… Go to sleep for twenty years and hope it’s all over when you wake up. John G. Lawless ©2/24/2023