Star

I didn't know what to say. For once in my life, I was quiet. I stood there, nails digging into my palms, it stang; Eyes too, tears reflect what they see; Tinnitus, blood rushes up above, defies gravity. I couldn't say what I wanted to. The lights, with a thud they jump on; Right on me, here My lips quiver, It's hot, my skin itches, to be peeled off like week old dressing; It's frigid, every part of me aches, shakes like a dog in the rain. "Where am I?" I call out, Realise it was not outloud, Refrain. I don't know what I'm meant to say. Each part of my limbs trembles, torso supported by boughs of willow shaking in the wind. Mouth opens, closes again, And again And again And again. The audience grumbles in their seats, Stones in hand, torches in the other The music swells, violin takes over, Expecting me to sing. "They're growing tired, Do something," The stage director yells. Climbs up onto the stage. The front row is blurred. I don't know who they are, Yet the dread of familiarity fills me The centre seat reflects my own face. The director runs up, a strike lain across my face, She's sitting as if she owns the place Another, cheeks sting, match the misplaced rouge, Why does she sneer? Another, tears fall, the dams break Why does she laugh? Another, and my knees meet the ground. It's frigid, my dress tattered, audience entertained. They laugh, they gasp They squeal, clap. My head matches the green of my gown. Crimson matches the nails in my palm. She stands up, visage grabbing fae, There, in the crowd, She turns, bows What audacity? This is my tragedy to endure Mine to embrace. I stand, nay, I try For my legs give way. Pity, they've betrayed me too I would do the same. I run to her, put my hands around her Neck, I put my life in it, She stands strong, stoic The audience rages in laughter. My head meets the ground again, The orchestra subsides The show is over, I'm out of sight. I wake up on the stage, Lights blaring Blind me Bruises line my jaw Scratches further ruin me It's fun I'm part of the show I don't know my lines But they all laugh so Perhaps if I stop They'll go away My limbs keep dancing however For love, however rancid, tastes the same. I'll keep on dancing Dance until she smiles I'll hold my tongue and my breath, Bow when the applause dies.