Spoon and Knife
She said she'd make some sandwiches,
he told her he could do it better.
She said, “Here, I’ve fixed some cold cuts!”
All he said was, “nuts!”
She told him she could cook Chinese
he told her he could do it better.
She said, “Here, I made Chop Suey!”
All he said was, “phooey!”
So then she thought she’d take him out
he still thought he could do it better.
When the waiter brought roast duck
All he could say was, “yuck!”
She thought perhaps dessert would cheer him
though he still thought he’d do better.
She bought pints of chocolate mint
All he said’s not fit to print.
And so they married, Spoon and Knife -
she lived to feed him; he to cut her.
With that spoon, she dug her grave
But truth be told, he did it better.
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