Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Splendid Isolation

Splendid Isolation

Here I sit alone in my ‘prison cell’ Cut off from the ones I love – it is a living hell I feel so alone, I crave human contact, anyone would be great Just someone to talk to - it doesn’t have to be a mate Splendid isolation between these four walls Scared to venture out my room in case an intruder calls I lock my door every time I leave In case someone comes to take what little I have to thieve There is no one here to share my fears No one to hold my hand or wipe away my tears The ones I love are far from me No one to listen to my plea I need to be brave to soldier on In a few days we will be gone Back to the home from where we came Until then I play the waiting game This is my first poem since childhood, written when my husband was undergoing cancer surgery in November 2013. I felt so isolated and also very vulnerable in the hospital accommodation which was a flat that had 4 lockable bedrooms and a shared kitchen but was shared by both men and women I had my laptop and my phone .. but what I really needed was someone to be there at my side. My son had just started university and had enough stress being away from home especially with his father being ill. My father prevented me from telling my mum of my husband's cancer so I had no support at all from my immediate family. 15th Feb 2014 Submitted to Loneliness Contest Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron Submitted to A Meaningful Poem - Poetry Contest Sponsored by Constance La France

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 9/21/2023 1:32:00 PM

I understand what you went through, was the same for me when my husband was in hospital three months with sepsis after day case surgery. I couldn’t visit as covid was rife, only when he was critical. I wrote some poems as he was away for Christmas, poems about missing him, unable to be together. He couldn’t read them when he came home, he was broken. When he did read them he loved them. I’m pleased your husband got through his traumatic experience and happy for you. God bless. Belle xx

Jan Allison
Date: 9/21/2023 2:00:00 PM

Thanks so much Belle, I wish I had had support from my parents and sibling it was not to be, I was on the verge of a breakdown when we got back as hubby was suffering, i had to work and run around after my parents (as mum didnt know anything about hubbies cancer until about 2016 after dad died and i was being interviewed on the radio about my poetry! hugs Jan xx

Craig Cornish

Date: 9/21/2023 11:43:00 AM

So glad to have been coaxed here - of my own accord...NO, this is one that is infinite, I have some, I think we all do, but there are spaces in time that just ARE - they can't be invaded, even reading seems, no, is an honor ...

Jan Allison
Date: 9/21/2023 1:59:00 PM

I'm moved to tears by your comment Craig, let's face it, it would never win a poetry prize but the emotions just came tumbling out. Hubby went for a specialised cancer scan on Tuesday, we get the results next week, hopefully its just a precaution but his levels are rising again. We don't well on it, just get on with life:-) hugs Jan xx

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 3/30/2021 9:56:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. WOW!!! What a story/write and notes. Great friends can be better than family. (Been There) Life is filled with hard times. Only God can get us through it. Have a very blessed day writing away...................

Jan Allison
Date: 3/31/2021 5:55:00 AM

Thanks for the comment and mail Paula, I look at the poem now and see how it could be improved but i will never change a single word,my hubbies cancer was the catalyst which kick started me into writing and for that I am truly thankful:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 3/27/2021 4:55:00 PM

Jan, congratulations on your win in my challenge, A Meaning Poem and that is exactly what you gave me, your poem touched my heart, hope your husband is doing okay now, well done _Constance

Line Gauthier

Date: 2/20/2020 6:52:00 PM

Such difficult times to go through, Jan. I can relate. Nice to reread.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/20/2020 7:10:00 PM

Thanks Line, it was so difficult not to have support from family, it was only through true friends that I got by. this was my probably my first poem since I was at school and I hated poetry then lol:-) but his cancer got me writing and poetry has changed my life:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 5/9/2019 4:59:00 AM

Wow Jan, so powerfully written with so much emotion, such a shame you had to go through that experience alone!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2019 5:14:00 AM

Its odd going back to read the poem since I highlighted it on my recent poem , I didn't tell mum until after dad died and I was being interviewed on the radio about my poetry journey and I didn't want mum to find out through that. I am sitting in the cancer hospital now it's a very humbling experience... day 4 of a very long haul. :-) hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier

Date: 5/7/2019 9:22:00 PM

Awesome poem, Jan. Straight to the heart.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2019 5:55:00 AM

Thanks line, I look back at the poem and see where changes could be made but it's one poem I will never edit. It is odd to be back in the same accommodation where my poetry journey first began, hubby is here for 6 1/2 weeks in the UK, I cannot be with him all that time which is tough emotionally but we will get through xx

Caycay Jennings

Date: 12/2/2017 10:11:00 AM

I'm crying, but I'm good. I felt the poem, then I felt every word of your poem explanation. So I'm justa feeling. Beautiful heart on paper, so delicate and strong at the same time, a holding of intangible made thus. Rambling ... Much love ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 12/2/2017 4:20:00 PM

Thanks CayCay, I look back on the poem and think it could do with a tweak but it will always be left as it was and i will never change one word. My constant support has been my friend Chris who has been there for me 100% - she even left me blueberry muffins and chocolate when i came back from the hospital the other day! It's at times of need you know who your friends are and mine have been so supportive when my family were not:-( hugs jan xx

Gordon Mcconnell

Date: 8/29/2017 12:31:00 PM

Very moving and touching piece Jan, must have been so difficult at that time on your own but good you can look back now and see you've both came through it all. God bless, Gordon

Jan Allison
Date: 8/29/2017 12:52:00 PM

It was a very difficult time emotionally and I did not tell my mum about my husband's cancer until after my father died in 2015.. she was heartbroken at not being told and for not being able to support me when I needed her most. :-( hugs Jan xx

Chelcie Darling

Date: 10/4/2016 4:50:00 AM

Beautiful Jan!! ( : Makes me want to give you a big hug!!

Chelcie Darling
Date: 10/5/2016 8:51:00 AM

You are a very strong person! You've walked over the rumble with such grace! You will always come out on top! Hugs! Chelcie

Jan Allison
Date: 10/4/2016 11:59:00 AM

To be honest Chelcie that is all I needed at the time - a hug and someone to talk to - it was only in August last year that I told my mum about my hubby having cancer as my father wouldn't let me tell her:-( hugs jan xx

Wendy Rycroft

Date: 7/28/2016 1:03:00 PM

congrats well done well written x

Jan Allison
Date: 7/28/2016 1:09:00 PM

Thanks Wendy, now I am more au fait with writing I see where this poem could be amended, but it will always remain in its raw state and I'll never change a word:-) hugs Jan xx

Teddy Kimathi

Date: 7/27/2016 4:36:00 AM

Congrats Jan, for your well, deserved first placement in the contest!! ;-)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/28/2016 1:07:00 PM

Thanks so much Teddy:-) hugs Jan xx

John Hamilton

Date: 7/25/2016 9:07:00 PM

This is so touching Jan, congrats on your first place win! Wow for your first poem it is amazing. Such raw emotion, I loved it!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/28/2016 1:06:00 PM

Thanks so much for that lovely comment John - I realise changes could be made, but this is how it was written on that day in November 2013 and I will never change a word:-) hugs jan xx

John Hamilton
Date: 7/26/2016 8:11:00 AM

Good! Don't change a single word, it reflects your feelings at the time. We need benchmarks to measure our growth as poets, and you are growing quickly!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/26/2016 3:10:00 AM

Thanks John - the poem only goes a tiny way to express how I felt but this experience started me writing and has got me through the worst period in my life. Now I am more experienced with writing I can see areas where the poem could be improved, but I will never change it:-) hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 7/24/2016 5:06:00 PM

Oh, Jan...what a torture of a day this was for you. Congratulations on your well-deserved First Place win for this heartfelt and so emotional poem. Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 7/26/2016 3:06:00 AM

Thanks Sandra - it was this experience that started me writing and unleashed a creativity I never knew existed:-) hugs Jan xx

Karam Misra

Date: 7/24/2016 10:17:00 AM

A very touching poem, Jan. Sometimes one really does become so lonely! Congrats on your top spot. ~karam~

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 11:13:00 AM

Thanks Karam:-) hugs jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 7/24/2016 9:42:00 AM

Jan, this poem broke my heart and brought me to tears, it truly shows that it is not just the sick person who suffers, CONGRATULATIONS, dear heart ~

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 11:12:00 AM

My hubby said I suffered far worse than he did as he was 'out of it' with the surgery - he was being cared for by the staff and I was in need of emotional support that simply wasn't there:-( hugs jan xx

Anisha Dutta

Date: 7/24/2016 9:23:00 AM

I an touched n moved on your first poem. Poems are the outlets of our emotions. Congrats to win top place. Hugs JAN

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 11:10:00 AM

Thanks Anisha:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/24/2016 8:54:00 AM

wow, Jan, your first poem ever. What an amazing one to win first place with. BIG congrats to you. So sorry what your father did and that you had no support. Just think. if you had been a member here then. (you weren't, were you?) you would have had all kinds of cyber support. I always reach out to my friends in such times. It's so helpful!! Love the title you gave this one too.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 11:10:00 AM

It was written whilst he was in surgery - I was so so scared Andrea, so lonely and far away from home - my son was away at university and that was stressful enough for him to deal with. I talked today with mum about dad not letting me tell her - it was an incredibly selfish attitude he had - the only person it hurt was me:-( hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 7/24/2016 7:33:00 AM

Hi Jan, This hearfelt first poem brought tears to my eyes. I could sense the loneliness in every line. At first I thought l was reading about someone in jail. It's so sad you had to go through that ordeal alone. It's a blessing that your husband is well. Congratulations on your 1st place win. It was well deserved: ')Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 11:07:00 AM

Thanks Alexis - I would hate other's to go through what I did and asked at the accommodation for the 'flat share' to be single sex - I felt so vulnerable and of course I was very worried about my hubby and not having someone 'there' for me was so so hard - speaking on the phone to someone is fine, but having someone to talk to to allay your fears, give you a hug - that is what I really needed:-( hugs jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 7/24/2016 12:36:00 AM

Loneliness is confined to the mind, not by any material structure. It's condition is most always self imposed. Congratulations Jan on your win...

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 3:43:00 AM

You can be alone but not lonely Charlie. In this situation I was desperately lonely and felt very vulnerable especially as I was in 'mixed' accommodation at the nurses home. What I really needed was emotional support from someone who was physically by my side but being miles away from home in the Uk it was impossible:-( hugs Jan xx

Sonia Walker

Date: 7/24/2016 12:06:00 AM

Jan, congratulations on your crowning win of your poem, 'Splendid Isolation.' I am a breast cancer survivor 2x. Your poem brought tears to my eyes. Prayfully, all is well with your husband. God Bless. ~ Sonia

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 3:39:00 AM

My hubby is doing fine thanks Sonia. I think there are many who will be able to relate to my poem. So wonderful to hear you are doing so well - cancer is an illness that seems to touch most people either directly or indirectly and I hope and pray one day they find way to prevent it happening at all:-) hugs jan xx

Nayda Ivette Negron Flores

Date: 7/23/2016 11:39:00 PM

Congratulations Jan on the first placement of the contest

Jan Allison
Date: 7/24/2016 3:36:00 AM

Nayda this win showcasing this very personal poem probably means more to me than any I have had on the site - thank you so so much:-) hugs Jan xx

Rob Bettridge

Date: 1/8/2016 9:04:00 AM

A wonderful expression of your emotions of a horrible time in anyone's life. Thank you for sharing Jan. I often think that the Supporters of a Cancer Sufferer also have a very bad time of it, day by day - hour by hour.

Jan Allison
Date: 1/8/2016 1:36:00 PM

This poem kick-started my poetry journey Rob - I can't believe how it has helped me during the worst period of my life ... from not writing since I was at school I now have over 900 poems in 2 years. Hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 10/19/2015 11:49:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations on your sweet win. ~SKAT~

Jan Allison
Date: 10/20/2015 1:13:00 AM

Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Balveen Cheema

Date: 10/17/2015 6:39:00 AM

Oh Jan! How tough it must have been! Was your husband able to come out of it? Congrats on your win!

Balveen Cheema
Date: 10/17/2015 7:50:00 AM

I'm glad your loved ones convinced you and that you finally agreed. Such beautiful poems to read! I started writing last September, not long after you did. Love, Balveen

Jan Allison
Date: 10/17/2015 6:53:00 AM

Yes my husband had his cancer surgery in November 2013 and is doing fine - it prompted me to start writing poetry and I joined the site in Feb 2014 after a friend took a month to convince me people would like my poems:-) hugs Jan xx