'SOS'

Dear Security, In this long and never-ending plight, I’m sending out a ‘SOS’ to you tonight… Why do you elude me so? Why do you hide from me like the sun hides from the night? I search for you five, eight, forty, and 365 every year. Day in and day out, I sweat for you, I bleed for you, and my body aches in pain for you. I look all around me, and I can see you with strangers passing me by. I see you in videos, and I read about you in books and on billboards. I have needed, searched, and learned about you throughout my entire life. At times, you seemed so close that I believed I could reach you. A few times in my life, I swear I could almost grab hold of you, and when it seemed you were just within my reach, like grabbing for the wind, you blew right through my hands. So why!? Why do you elude me so? Maybe you think me selfish, or maybe you think my search for you was all for my gain. What if I told you that my longing and search for you was never about my wealth and prospering? What if I could convince you that it wasn’t for me or my basic needs for this life? It was never about what I wanted or about what I needed. It was never about my happiness or healthiness. It was never for or about the well-being of my life. Would you still elude me so? If I could prove that my pursuit of you wasn’t motivated by financial gain but instead by love? Would you still hide from me like the sun hides from the night? What if I could prove that my search for you five, eight, forty, and 365 every year was for the woman I love? If I could prove that day in and day out, all my sweat, all my blood, and all my body aches of pain for you were so I could provide and take care of her. Would you still hide yourself from me? If I could prove that my search for you was driven by a desire to free her from all her anxiety and worry. That it was so I could provide for her all her basic needs in this life. That it was for her happiness and healthiness. That it was so I could make her feel loved and safe and to see to her well-being all the days of her life. If all that I’ve done and all that I’m trying so hard to do, could reveal my true motivation in my never-ending search for you, would you still remain to be, so elusive and hidden to me?

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