Sometimes People Share

Sometimes pandemic people share pieces of our unspeakable personal story That no health care worker, sex therapist player, or green resonant systems organizer wants to hear, much less smell, or touch, or deeply feel... I flinch, sometimes. Wince. Maybe flirt with longer-term dissociation, to protect myself from suicide to protect ourselves from ecocide. Make sure I'm OK for now right left here And agree with my hurting therapeutic parenting wounded child revisiting this past and present chronic stress including emotional panic premonitions of darkly changing monocultures and corporate monopoly money decapitated by compassionate EarthTribe commitment to green cooperative integrity And agree with my hurting adult child to resist this emotional panic premonition, inhaled trauma, physical mental natural spiritual shamed and blamed punished and neglected disempowered and unenlightened unless unconditionally revisited for further bilateral reflection To wonder how this bad news from good people places is OK to tolerate, absorb engage with active curiosity hope good humored faith soon as we cannot disregard what to do with all those unemployed and too often unemployable post-traumatic perpetual soldiers Later, no compassionate rush about defusing nuclear bombs, unrushed by unpatriotic fear that climate degeneration isn't also an awkward forecast for nationalistic America First post-pandemic economic depression, universal disregard For now, return to deeply listen for internal trauma, loss, suffering as yet avoided Nightmares of Lose/Lose final mortal terror so far avoided on our U.S. watch and witness when Othering karma turns toward Us. But, again, no worries, no knotted panties, no habitual sad-limned lines Inconvenient and unseemly despite longer-term property and embodied health concerns about global economic dysfunction, disturbingly addictive, spiritually seductive, physically superlative self-entertaining chronic medications Avoiding deep dark meditations with even more win/lose despair that slow-grown suicide feels interpersonally familiar walking heavily through yellowing drying burning flooding eroding melting ecocide remembering, But, who is this remembering witness who flinches? And is s/he the same Yintegral green voice compassionately speaking that We are co-empathically OK for now left right here But reserve a StraightWhite Privileged choice to revisit unconditional regard again as soon as this wounded ecofeminist child takes this chance to speak HiStory's Trauma And re-imagine together how we will, next global warming climate post-pandemic, re-support each Other with compassion and cooperative corporate co-investment Knowing we will always do long-term battle together Flinching while co-arising ego-centric hurting Voices making less than Win/Win health-wealth therapeutically optimizing BiLaterally CoIntelligent Choices Not really accessible when out on the darker side of physical/spiritual addictive substance empathy flowing somewhere between temporary dopamined up serotonin escape, Flirting with unsacred suicide ideas and afflicted by nihilistic despair of globally disempowering and locally unenlightened ecocide. But, again, who is this governing witness voice? this supremely indigenous EarthTribal choice? Who sings a full resonant hope for future healthcare choosing blue/green resilient revolving EarthDay for, and from, a full whole systemic nonzero-sum ecofeminist Win/Win choice For more YangStrong Yintegral Flow balance, polyphonic harmonies of light, synergetic equities for power resonantly bright. Sometimes people share winter hibernating gardens of dualdark not-not despair double-binding ego/eco duo-side, duo-decimating inside anthrohumbling HIStoric genocide.